i feel like people on here actually believe i am in denial and are just being nice

Had this thought so many times

How are you doing?

i don't know. i guess anxiety is up a bit today. it's kind of reassuring lmao, but then what if i am anxious because i realised i am gay? (you don't have to answer that it's just a rant). and then i feel so convinced i am gay in denial, like ACTUALLY convinced, and like i will have to live that life and that i am just struggling to accept my sexuality because there's so much proof i an gay in denial :( it feels super real but i am trying not to ruminate over it and stay distracted, but the more i ignore it the more i feel i have "unresolved business" which is my sexuality and that makes me feel more in denial. lmao that's kind of long. how are you??

@Nour04 i don't know how i feel lol. i really feel like i am on the "other side" now and all i have to do is now accept that i am gay. i don't think i can even imagine myself with a man anymore, and then imagining with a woman makes me feel like i want it and saying i don't sounds like denial. i am so sorry i went all in when you asked a simple question, sorry for the long rant, i have just been feeling like throwing up all day long, and it makes me feel like it's because i was super triggered yesterday but kind of had no reaction to it (?) and now i truly feel gay in denial.