I'm worried that I don't love my girlfriend as much as she loves me, i just feel like numb or disconnected. I don't which it is ig, it just worries me because i'm scared it means I don't love her. Earlier she told me I ment the world to her and it made a but uncomfortable because it's like I couldn't reciprocate the same thing back. I just want to feel happy again and love her. Does anyone else experience this? I'm at a loss.

I feel like I’m falling apart. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years. He’s kind, loving, supportive — and I know he loves me deeply. But I can’t feel anything anymore. I sit next to him, and I feel numb. I kiss him, and it feels empty. I remember how I used to feel, and now… nothing. It terrifies me. The worst part is that I don’t even know what’s real anymore. I constantly question if I ever loved him, if I’m just forcing things out of guilt or fear. Sometimes I imagine breaking up, and I feel nothing — and that scares me even more. I keep thinking: if I really loved him, wouldn’t I feel it? I’ve read about ROCD. I want to believe that’s what this is. But the thoughts feel so real. And I can’t stop spiraling. My therapist didn’t help — she made me feel like maybe I was lying to myself. My mom either tells me to stop overthinking or gets angry. I have no one to really talk to. If anyone here has been through this — through the numbness, the “what if I never loved him?” thoughts, the feeling like it’s all fake — please tell me how you got through. I’m exhausted. I just want to feel peace again.

Today, my boyfriend — who usually doesn’t post much — made a really sweet TikTok with me. He used a trend where he called me his princess and posted it on Close Friends. It was thoughtful and loving… but I felt nothing. And that terrified me. Last night, I looked at him while we were lying in bed and had a thought: “I lost feelings. I don’t like him anymore.” It hit me like a wave, and since then I’ve been so scared that this is all the proof I need that I don’t love him. The worst part? I’m not feeling any positive emotions at all. No joy. No spark. No connection. I’ve been trying so hard for so long to feel something — anything — and I just can’t. I’m scared that the numbness means the love is gone. I’m scared I never truly loved him. I’m scared I’ve just been coping all this time, forcing it. I feel like the relationship is fake, like I’m fake, and everything is falling apart. And still… he keeps showing up for me. He’s loving, kind, and consistent. He tells me how much he loves me. But I can’t feel the warmth anymore, and I don’t know what’s happening to me. I’m miserable, I feel like a shell, and I’m terrified that this is my truth — that I don’t love him and I’m just in denial. I need help. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t want to keep living in this constant fear, panic, and emotional numbness. I don’t know what to trust anymore — the thoughts, the feelings, or the memories that feel blurry. Has anyone felt this too?

A little backstory I used to be in love with this girl for months, I would nit pick every text, seeing if she was online or waiting for a reply or text from her CONSTANTLY just to find out I was nothing, she treated me so horribly I kind of forgot how it felt to be loved, I work so hard on something that was a waste it was hard to just “nudge it off” we are complete strangers now. But not to long after I have met this girl a real girl with morals a life, respectful looks at me when I talk and listens to me. Real interest. But of course how I’m wired is to question is this real, we don’t talk 24:7 like the last girl so I thought is this love then if we don’t talk constantly? I didn’t know any better of course, until our first date where we clicked even more and more, and then the second then the third then the fourth, why am I typing this, well it’s because I still don’t feel enough even though I get letter after letter LOVE letters reassuring me yet nothing changes I love this girl but I’m scared to love her fully because what if she just leaves what if she’s lying, I love her so much and she is truly a good person, yet she has no idea how much I cry for her because I feel as if I’m failing her daily, I give her flowers, notes, good dates, really real conversations everything I need in a girl, and what I love the most is the little moments where I truly find myself loving her with all my heart for a few seconds, truly the best feeling ever where I know she loves me back and cares for me and appreciates the things I do for her but then poof there I go second guessing it, and sometimes I feel scared I wanna run away from everything because I’d rather run before I get hurt then get hurt again , but I don’t wanna feel this way I want her we can build a true connection if I allow it but how do I allow it after years of never truly loving someone for real for real, the only love I know is toxic yet I’m not toxic and neither is she, so I need a break from short form content or even music I’m willing to change if it makes my life as a whole more positive it’s just some night I think to myself am I truly enough what can I do to be better and then that sends me spiraling and then not doing anything, yet I believe I do enough for her MORE than enough I treat her super well like a queen, but the dreams I have, I dream she leaves and I’m left feeling empty more empty then ever to the point where I get up at TWO am checking my phone to make sure she didn’t ghost me or she didn’t die. It truly shows me if she does leave that’s the feeling I will feel in that moment and it is terrible the most gut wrenching thing ever and yet when I see her I forget what I was sad about her smile and everything yet when I’m alone it like I forget everything I become a whole different person, my parents and friends can tell I’m happier since I’ve met her, my energy is back but they are right but at the same time they are wrong I wish I can be with her all the time and I wish she would reassure me more but who am I to judge when she has no idea I just want to let go and love her like those little moments I get when I truly do and it’s not like I don’t like her I do constantly but it’s just that I don’t feel enough even though I am enough like we don’t text constantly throughout the day and with my past experiences I believe if you like someone you text them daily but that’s not true I text her morning, goodnight, and we check in on how our days are and of course randomly messages to is it truly just me who thinks like this I believe so hopefully she thinks that’s enough because it genuinely is enough for me but I worry about how she feels constantly should I tell her how I’m feeling or learn myself to become better?