i always imagine scenarios with women to test whether i want them or not, and up until a month or so i used to get nauseous and anxious and repulsed by them. now i feel nothing. i can'teven tell if i want them or not. i think i am numb to them and sometimes avoid this compulsion because it makes me feel like i want the thoughts. anyone else go through this? and also i feel like i am "reminding" myself to think hocd thoughts and to do compulsions

and also when i feel a new obsession forming, i tell myself not to fake it. it's as if i am making up new obsessions

I go through this too , becoming disesensitized to our thoughts is very much a thing !remember being anxious about not being anxious is also a form of ocd and you can't put evidence on whether you were disturbed by something or not , cause In a lot of cases , we think about something so much that we have no reaction. Its very hard not to get meta about "well maybe im making myself think it though " try your best to sit with the fact that you won't be sure , cause it really can convince you of that and then you end up ruminating over how the thoughts even came into your head ! Its ridiculous! You aren't alone in this at all

thank you so much!! i have been going crazy over this! like how can i be so convinced that i like it?????