Dre83
- Date posted
- 4y
c.catc.cat
- Date posted
- 4y
Ugh the “you want to do it” along with intrusive feelings/urges really get me. And while on recovery they don’t give me much anxiety anymore so then I want to figure it out- but like you said letting them be is best!!
Dre83Dre83
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah those are some of the harder thoughts
tascher1tascher1
- Date posted
- 4y
Same, it's all a lie, but hard not to fall into the trap and to feel like less of a human because of it. On the flip side it's a good way of telling what you truly care most in life about....but still paradoxical.
Dre83Dre83
- Date posted
- 4y
@tascher1 I wonder how we got here so like they say it’s something to maybe to do with serotonin so was our serotonin low before or after a thought or dream bothered us and sent us into ocd? If it was before then why didn’t we have other effects from low serotonin? Like what makes serotonin low because how does a chemical leave our body lol. This is some of the thinking I woke up with this morning haha
tascher1tascher1
- Date posted
- 4y
@Dre83 Yeah I believe low serotonin can spark intrusive thoughts for sure. Mine started amidst a very stressful point in my life. However, those of us with ocd exacerbate the IT with rumination, compultions, sham and guilt which cause serotonin to go even lower. Exercise, diet, and yes meds do help. It's hard though, cause who wants to exercise when they have constant ocd thoughts....
Dre83Dre83
- Date posted
- 4y
@tascher1 Yeah mine started at a stressful time as well. I find that exercising is my go to cause it my time by myself just moving weights. I’ve always been someone who lifted weights as I started young so I had a regimen already. Meds is where I’m cautious at but I have started to take buspirone which is anti-anxiety med which it seems to be helping me so I’m grateful for it.
tascher1tascher1
- Date posted
- 4y
I have those days. Have you ever been triggered by good intentions, like trying to do an exposure by cooking with a knife because you know that's what you need to do to get better and then feel guilty that you are just testing yourself or you put someone in harm's way. I have harm ocd too and I haven't figured out the valence between exposure and testing I guess and it makes me feel terrible.
Dre83Dre83
- Date posted
- 4y
Oh yeah I’ve tested myself unfortunately because that’s seeking reassurance. Sometimes I don’t need triggers to have these thoughts either. One time I stood at the doorway to our bedroom with the knife on my hand while my wife slept to test myself 🤦🏽 shit is crazy
tascher1tascher1
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah, I feel you. I had something similar happen. It doesn't mean that you intend to or want to. You are trying to prove something that's not provable. And in our attempt to do this we create new obsessions by "testing" instead of exposure.
tascher1tascher1
- Date posted
- 4y
I bet then after that that became your new obsession.....had to confess.....made yourself feel terrible like that action is an indicator or action.....and the cycle goes on...amiright
Dre83Dre83
- Date posted
- 4y
My obsession was hurting her while she slept. It stated with a dream about doing it.
Dre83Dre83
- Date posted
- 4y
@Dre83 But that was 15 months ago with the dream
tascher1tascher1
- Date posted
- 4y
I had the same thing, only just a thought and it spiraled out of control ever since into a web of guilt, shame, compultions testing, reassurance ect. Which I know now makes it all worse. Trying now to take the "say nothing, do nothing" approach.
Dre83Dre83
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah me too. We gotta stay strong and move forward one day at a time.
[Deleted][Deleted]
- Date posted
- 4y
Comment deleted by user
Dre83Dre83
- Date posted
- 4y
Did your harm thoughts go away when your ex and you split up? For some reason I think they will go away if I was to leave my spouse but I don’t plan on it I just think it
Dre83Dre83
- Date posted
- 4y
@lonerjayv3 Yeah I just started meds this week so definitely hope it helps.
Dre83Dre83
- Date posted
- 4y
@lonerjayv3 Yeah I hope the best for you too man. You got discord?
Dre83Dre83
- Date posted
- 4y
@lonerjayv3 Dre83#6911
Dre83Dre83
- Date posted
- 4y
@Dre83 My discord id
Dre83Dre83
- Date posted
- 4y
@lonerjayv3 You get set up bro
Related posts
feelinalone.
- Date posted
- 23w
i’m so anxious right now.
i had thoughts of “planning” to harm my boyfriend. we have a trip coming up and my intrusive thoughts were telling me “nobody will know if you harm him all the way over there”, then my mind started rambling on like “everyone will know-“ and so on and so forth, it actually made me feel like i was contemplating on doing something and now it feels like im turning evil ): has anyone had thoughts like this?
laladracu
- Date posted
- 21w
a thought?
I cant get over this thought that is messing my recovery up so much. it was “if you dont act on your thoughts this will never go away” which led to thoughts like if i even wanted to get better, if i even want my life back, if i even WANTED this to go away, etc. im scared. im confused. is this normal? am i gonna have to act on this stuff now? im mainly concerned about my family. i dont wanna hurt them. this disease is horrible. this subtype is horrible. i love my family. why would i want to hurt them? im so afraid this is it for me. i try to do what everyone tells me. ignore the thought, let it sit, sit with the uncertainty/discomfort but the anxiety doesn’t go away. this thought keeps coming back with a vengeance. i thought i was making great progress but im back where i was. i ruminate about this 24/7 and i dont know how to stop. we tried sitting on the couch together last night and it felt like i was RESISTING hurting them. im in constant awareness that i can act on these anytime and it hinders my daily life and work so much. everytime i talk to anyone in my family i feel things like i shouldnt be talking to them if im gonna hurt them and i dont deserve to be around them. i feel like i dont deserve to be alive, i dont deserve to be happy, and i dont deserve to be comfortable. i feel like a psycho whos never gonna get to live life with a husband and family. i feel like i don’t deserve my sweet boyfriend. i dont want my thoughts to latch onto him. this is my mind when i wake up, when i try to go about my day, and when i go to sleep. it feels like it just wont dissipate regardless of what i do. the cycle never ends. its been 4 MONTHS. what the fuck do i do anymore
ocdsuxxx
- Date posted
- 18w
Thoughts not going away
I’m trying to let them pass not engage nothing , trying to compusle but the thoughts won’t leave. My brain keeps telling me I should stab my dad for not asking if I’m okay after the death of my ex …
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond