- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
do you *choose* to love him? love isnāt always a feeling, itās an action that you choose to do. yes, feelings are a good sign that you do love them but ultimately itās something you wake up everyday and choose to do. donāt get caught up in āfeelingsā because feelings arenāt always reliable (which we all know)
- Date posted
- 3y
My gosh sir I was going to comment the same thing you absolutely nailed it
- Date posted
- 3y
@NOCD Advocate - Mike iām a girl but great!!š
- Date posted
- 3y
@bigblue Sorry your avatar says otherwise š
- Date posted
- 3y
I don't know why its so hard for my brain to accept that feelings aren't everything in a relationship and that being calm and comfortable is a good thing
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Expecting any type of feelings at any given moment is a recipe for huge anxiety with OCD. Expecting and analyzing make it almost impossible to feel any spontaneous positive emotions when they would have otherwise popped in.
- Date posted
- 3y
I wish I was calm and comfortable. You are very lucky to have that as I just feel constantly worries and sick with doubt and dread
- Date posted
- 3y
Well I am feeling constant doubt and worries due to not having the loving feelings
- Date posted
- 3y
This is extremely normal for all long term relationships!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 17w
Lately, Iāve been feeling so disconnected from my boyfriend, and I donāt understand why. When I look at him, it feels like Iām looking at a stranger, and my mind keeps telling me that I donāt like him, that I never really loved him, or that I was just attached and comfortable. It feels real, and that terrifies me. I know logically that ROCD makes me overanalyze every little feeling, but it doesnāt make this any easier. I keep waiting to feel somethingālove, excitement, even reliefābut instead, I just feel numb and distant. When we talk, I feel weird. When he kisses me, I donāt feel much. I keep thinking, āIf I really loved him, wouldnāt I feel something?ā And the fact that I donāt just fuels my anxiety even more. It scares me that I canāt remember how I felt before ROCD took over. I look at old pictures, and my brain tells me, āThat wasnāt real, you were just excited to have a relationship.ā And because I canāt access those feelings right now, it makes me doubt everything even more. I also feel guilty because my boyfriend is so loving and patient, but I feel like Iām hurting him. He tells me he doesnāt feel loved by me anymore, and I hate that I canāt just snap out of this and be the way I was before. Itās exhausting. I donāt know whatās real anymore. I keep checking how I feel every second, and it just makes me feel worse. I know thatās a compulsion, but itās so hard to stop. I keep searching for certainty, but no answer satisfies me. Even when I try to accept the uncertainty, my mind screams, āBut what if you donāt love him? What if youāre just lying to yourself?ā I want to be present with him. I want to feel love naturally again. But I donāt know how to get there, and itās terrifying.ā
- Date posted
- 16w
Is it normal feeling no connection towards your boyfriend if you think you're dealing with ROCD. I was talking with my therapist last Wednesday and she asked me if I can picture a future with them for the longest time I did but now I feel like my head is trying to tell me no is that common?
- Date posted
- 12w
Lately, Iāve been feeling extremely confused and guilty. My boyfriend has been really busy with exams, and we havenāt talked much this past week. I donāt really feel like I miss him, and that scares me. It makes me think maybe I donāt love him anymore, maybe Iāve changed, and maybe this relationship doesnāt feel right for me anymore. A few days ago, a friend invited me to go to a club with her and another girl. I know that if I went without my boyfriend, he would feel bad ā not because heās controlling, but because in our relationship, weāve always had mutual boundaries and respect. I decided not to go, but ever since, Iāve been spiraling. My thoughts keep going: āWhat if I didnāt go just because of him?ā, āWhat if I actually wanted to go, but I stopped myself because I donāt really love him?ā, āWhat if Iām holding myself back and this relationship is limiting me?ā All of this makes me think Iām bored, that I donāt like him anymore, or that Iām staying out of habit. Itās hard to tell what I really want or whether these thoughts are part of ROCD or some deeper truth. I keep wondering if Iām just attached to him because heās my first boyfriend and weāve been together for so long. Sometimes I even think I wouldnāt care if we broke up, and that I donāt feel anything for him anymore ā and that absolutely destroys me, because heās such a good person who truly loves me. He doesnāt deserve to be treated with so much doubt and coldness. I feel miserable. I donāt know whatās real and whatās just obsession. It hurts that I canāt feel any clarity or peace. I just want to know if this is ROCD or if Iām in denial and refusing to accept the truth
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond