- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
do you *choose* to love him? love isnāt always a feeling, itās an action that you choose to do. yes, feelings are a good sign that you do love them but ultimately itās something you wake up everyday and choose to do. donāt get caught up in āfeelingsā because feelings arenāt always reliable (which we all know)
- Date posted
- 3y
My gosh sir I was going to comment the same thing you absolutely nailed it
- Date posted
- 3y
@NOCD Advocate - Mike iām a girl but great!!š
- Date posted
- 3y
@bigblue Sorry your avatar says otherwise š
- Date posted
- 3y
I don't know why its so hard for my brain to accept that feelings aren't everything in a relationship and that being calm and comfortable is a good thing
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Expecting any type of feelings at any given moment is a recipe for huge anxiety with OCD. Expecting and analyzing make it almost impossible to feel any spontaneous positive emotions when they would have otherwise popped in.
- Date posted
- 3y
I wish I was calm and comfortable. You are very lucky to have that as I just feel constantly worries and sick with doubt and dread
- Date posted
- 3y
Well I am feeling constant doubt and worries due to not having the loving feelings
- Date posted
- 3y
This is extremely normal for all long term relationships!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
Iām 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Donāt get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you wonāt prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you havenāt tried it: and itās that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I donāt want I donāt want I donāt want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I donāt wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?
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- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 13w
for me itās getting to the point where i donāt feel in love with my boyfriend anymore. iām trying to keep myself from compulsing since my compulsions are all mental. itās like the thoughts consume my mind every second of every day and i canāt catch a break. itās like i want to be with him so bad but my brain wonāt allow me. any advice?
- Date posted
- 12w
Iāve been really struggling the last week and I need some help. Iāve been seeing a guy for about 2 months who checks a lot of my relationship boxes. Heās so kind and we have a lot of fun together. The first few weeks I was totally smitten but had moments of fear about being committed. We talked about it and decided to take things slowly, and then I would have days of feeling like every thing was perfect with some fearful feelings in between. Two weeks ago now my SO-OCD and ROCD started to come back a little as well as my more anxious-avoidant behaviors. I started to get more scared of the future and it was more intense. At the end of last week, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. He is exactly the type of person I see myself marrying and has great values and is so secure about me. Until last week, he generally made me feel so safe and secure. Ever since saying yes, I feel so scared and anxious and my SO-OCD and ROCD is on max. I also find myself getting more annoyed and irritated about things that were minor annoyances or non-issues before. Iām having intense physical responses to both OCD themes, and the nagging thought and feeling that I need to end things with him because we arenāt right for each other. It makes me feel so sad and guilty. Sex is becoming harder because of the thoughts too, whereas at first it was perfect. I donāt know who I can talk to about this without them telling me to just break up with him. Everything is so new so I think theyād chalk it up to my intuition. But I do want to be in love and have less fear around relationships, so I donāt want to give into the fear. I think it could help me to set boundaries and have space for myself more often. I think I need some advice or insight. I know I shouldnāt ask for reassurance, but having some around how other people have felt at the beginning of a relationship would help. Why is it that the label is freaking me out so much? How do you guys set boundaries to prioritize yourself when you feel this way?
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