Hi everyone, I’ve been struggling lately and been reading up on all the different types of OCD and reading others posts have been comforting to me that I’m not the only one. Here’s what’s been going on lately: My boyfriend and I were together for 5 years consistently. Broke up for 2 years but we’re still on and off but remained single. We are now back together and suddenly I have been obsessing over the things I have done in those 2 years that may have been disrespectful to my boyfriend. My boyfriend forgives me for everything but I can’t stop obsessing over every detail. I am trying/forcing myself to remember every bad thing I’ve done in 2019. And once I think of something I obsess over - why would I do that? What was I thinking back then? We’re those my true feelings 2 years ago? Is that how I feel now? And when I think of something I feel the need to confess to my boyfriend. These thoughts and questions make me have tremendous guilt and feel like I don’t deserve the relationship we have currently. I’m new to all this and have an appointment with a psychologist next week. Any advice until then?

I agree with with telling yourself “yes, I did those things. Maybe I was insensitive to his feelings, maybe I wasn’t.” (I’m dealing with something similar and confession was such a strong urge). I’ve been told that I need to make a choice. Whether to live in the past or live in the present. Choose the present.

Everytime a thought comes up and you’re triggered to ruminate, do this instead. Say: I may have said terrible things, I may get trapped in a feeling that may last forever. I may feel guilty and feel like a bad person. I will accept the uncertainty and move on. Ultimately your rumination will never stop, because you’re trying to get a certain feeling that you didn’t do something bad. But there is no certainty. It’s not even an objective thing you are looking for . So work on accepting that there is a possibility that you did something wrong, and do not give in to the compulsions .

Just say yah I did those things. That’s in the past and I can’t change the past. I know my boyfriend forgives me, so what good is it going to do to worry?

i struggle with those kinds of thoughts too i just get so overwhelmed with guilt and shame

I know exactly what your going through it’s hard and I’m glad your bf is supportive of you and you guys are still together. But it’s not good to ruminate about the past although I do the same all the time. It’s best to sit with it and let the thoughts go through and do nothing at all. Just sit with it and continue with the present. It’s a hard thing to do, trust me, but it will help you deal with your intrusive thoughts