i barely thought about it all day. barely did any compulsions. barely felt any anxiety and barely ruminated. i thought this was ocd??? shouldn't i be more worried??? i don't feel like this is ocd anymore :(

maybe cause i napped for half of the day and was distracted and in company of family the other half?

a way i like to look at ocd is like a pair of glasses. whenever you have the glasses on, the way you see everything is different then you normally would. There are days where the glasses are on more than they’re off and vice-versa. Today might just be a day where they’re off and just enjoy it! Ocd likes to make you think that since it’s a part of you that you need it to function, but remember that it’s just A PART of you, not who you are.

but now not thinking about it makes me feel like i am in denial. i am able to dismiss the thoughts, but not ruminating about them makes me feel like i have to. i don't know if that makes sense

Or it means you did a great job not giving into compulsions :) when we don’t feed the monster, the ocd lessens

I get what you’re saying. While it’s hard, I think accepting that uncertainty is important to getting through moments like this. Like i said, ocd likes to make it seem like you need it to survive because compulsions are the things that “keep us safe” it’s going to throw thoughts, feelings, etc at you to try and hook you. Remember that a lot of it is just symptoms of ocd. Idk if that makes sense but I hope it helps!