i have been awake for 7-8 hours and still had not a single thought :( why? i thought this was ocd? but no thoughts and no anxiety?? just a couple months back i couldn't stop thinking about it, but now??? no thoughts?? no anxiety???

These past few days I was fine. Minimal intrusive thoughts ,no anxiety etc(to add I'm on medication so maybe it's starting to work although it barely is 2 weeks) and today I got a sudden wave of anxiety and it started latching on some thoughts like" what if I'm in denial and I wanna break up with my bf? And what if erp doesn't work for me because I actually wanna break up with my bf?" But they didn't really stay long usually those thoughts would make me spiral for days or so, now they lasted for some hours. And now I'm trying to trigger myself into being anxious again because if I don't it means I don't have ocd and if I don't have ocd it means I don't love my bf and if I don't love my bf it means I have to break up. Idk if it makes sense but the lack of anxiety makes me wonder if I actually have ocd or not.

I don’t know how to deal with the thoughts that come and barely gone. Usually, the brain often remembers and forgets things. People with OCD however struggle with trying to forget the intrusive thoughts because of the imbalance trying to convey what is real and if the thoughts in your head will come true. Just for the past few days, I was having fun and suddenly hit with a wave of obsessive thoughts and making me stuck with nowhere to go.

My OCD has been terrible the for the past two weeks. I have a fear that I will never be able to get out of the thought loop. I am hyper aware of my thoughts and it disturbs me. I haven’t been able to eat for 10 days. I force myself. I haven’t been able to sleep for more than a couple hours. Then I wake up and ruminate for a couple hours, until I’m exhausted. I’m also afraid I’ll never sleep well again. And I’m afraid I’ll never eat and enjoy my food again. I’m afraid I’ll never be able to stop thinking about this enough to enjoy my family ever again.