Struggling a little lately with what I’m 80% sure is ocd (I’m undiagnosed but working on it). Somehow I’m worrying about being a lesbian (who’s into sex lol) and ace all at once, which probably indicates that my worries aren’t very realistic. For years my bi friend has jokingly said I look like a lesbian (the first time being when we were around 12) and the most recent being a week ago. I guess it’s just thrown me for a loop because it’s made me worry I somehow inherently look lesbian? I know that’s ridiculous (literally the last time she said that another girl said I looked straight so idk) but I just got curtain bangs and I’ve started dressing in a way that’s more vintage inspired which could be interpreted as lesbian if someone wanted to go by stereotypes? As for the asexual thing, I questioned if I might be - likely as a compulsion against intrusive thoughts - right before my first big episode and confessed my thoughts to my mum instantly, which makes me think it probably wasn’t valid. Now I worry constantly that I actually am because I’m not crazily horny and haven’t really felt a desperate need to have sex with anyone even though I’ve never been in a relationship at 18 years old. I don’t begrudge either of these sexualities at all and it’s annoying me that I constantly have to think about these things. Sorry to vent but I’m on holiday at the moment and these things have been on the back of my mind. Hope you’re all having good days :)

Hello! I have had family members question my sexuality before and it is so triggering. Like oh do you have a boyfriend? Or a girlfriend? Mainly because I haven’t been in a serious relationship before cause I’m very independent. I then thought to myself, why would they ask me that? Am I doing something that indicates I’m not straight? Is it how I’m dressing? Etc. I beat myself up for so long and then started to think oh maybe I am bi? Even though I have never had those feelings towards girls and it’s not who I am. I have learned that many people put labels on literally anything. A hairstyle is “lesbian” or an outfit is “masculine”. Throughout those struggles I have found many things that have helped me: you cannot put a sexuality on hairstyles or clothing or how someone acts. Although many people do that, their stereotypes and labels are formed by how they grew up and who they choose to interact with. Nobody gets to deem your sexuality but you. So if someone asks me oh do you have a boyfriend? Or do you have a girlfriend? I simply set my boundaries and say no I do not have a girlfriend I am straight, and when I get a boyfriend it’s my choice whether I want to tell you or not. So get the hairstyle you wanna get, dress how you want to dress, do the hobbies that make you happy, because whatever labels people put on you, that’s not gonna change who you are. I have learned to accept that, and that people can label me whatever they want, it’s not gonna change the fact that I am straight. You are not alone in these thoughts, and there are definitely days when I struggle to remember these things. Recovery isn’t linear and it will take time. Know that you are strong and there are many people on this app who will support you on your recovery journey! 💛