Tw just in case 🎵just read something super triggering on here yay yay yay🎵

Idk anymore it feels like being on here is a trigger. Every time I see a minor post on the app, my intrusive thoughts go haywire and then my brain says maybe you should comment something inappropriate and i literally don't wanna fucking do that. It's the last thing I want to do. And now im scared that I commented something crude on someone's post. obviously, when I went to check there was nothing now my brain is saying "you commented and then deleted". I want to think it's something I wouldn't do, but why are the images in my head so real. Children should be safe. I feel like I need to be locked away. Someone please help me.

18+ pls!!! pls reply if u can (superrrrr tmi, pls don’t read if it’ll make you uncomfortable) since struggling with ocd, i have rules around the likes of m^sturbation and sexual stuff because i think too much into it now. one of the rules is that exact day i cant have seen or been around children because otherwise ill get intrusive thoughts that ive done it because of that (it isnt and never has been, before all of this i was able to engage in this stuff without any worry because it never crossed my mind). i cant have seen one the day before either or the day after actually engaging in that stuff because otherwise my mind plays tricks on me. i wanted to yk today because it makes me tired and most of the time helps me sleep but im worried i cant now because my mum and i watched a show and there was a quick clip of a child in it and my for you page on tiktok is things related to the genocide in gaza which obviously on some posts has pictures too that i’ve seen while interacting with the posts (like, commenting and reposting. thought i should state this bc i dont want it to sound like i meant anything else) so because now ive seen them i feel incredibly guilty and that if i am to yk, they’ll somehow link and be proof im this bad person. (Also should state i mean m^sturbate to ADULT content, when i’ve seen these posts i haven’t got aroused or anything. i’m just worried that bc ive seen stuff related to children today it’ll be bad of me to engage in that sort of thing to help me sleep)

Sorry about how long this is!! Hello to the person reading this!! I'm new to this site and I just finished my profile! In my bio it describes my situation and why I joined. If anyone has time to check out my profile and read what I wrote I would really appreciate it! In my bio I said "disorders/conditions" referring to the things I might have that are undiagnosed, but I do not in any way mean disorder or condition in a negative way I just don't know another word or phrase to use and if you have some please tell me so I can fix it ASAP. I'm asking you to go to my profile because what I want to talk about it is a LOT of reading, and it would be easier for me and from how I think about people reading these posts hopefully easy for you as a reader! If you think it would be easier for me to just post it also let me know. If after reading it, you have anything to say about my situation or something I said feel free to comment on this post and let me know! I'm open to anything you would like for me to know about how you feel about something I said, any advice, any constructive criticism so I can fix certain words or phrases, if you think I should get rid of something or add something, any feedback about the things I mentioned, any resources you recommend for me to check out to educate myself more on something I said that you disagree with or just something you think might help, if you think something I said was just plain wrong please tell me why and if you're able to give me something to switch it to so it is more accurate or something I can read with correct information on that subject so I can edit it and correct myself, and just anything you recommend for me to do, read, fix, change, consider, anything! I tried my hardest to make sure what I said wouldn't be taken the wrong way because of the way I worded it but if anyone thinks something I said could be said in a better way or shouldn't be said at all tell me so I can fix or remove it. Again, I am open to constructive criticism on anything you think needs it! I am not in any way trying to be rude or offensive to anyone and if anything I said rubbed you the wrong way or if you could understand what I meant but others might take it the wrong way please tell me how you feel and if you want to give me suggestions to fix the statement I will take all of them into consideration and if anybody wants me to leave the platform because you think it may not be right for me, let me know you feel that way so I can educate and improve myself so I can find somewhere that would suit my situation better. If you need any extra info or context, I'll provide it to help you better understand. I included some things about my family history so if that is unnecessary let me know and I'll remove it. If you notice something that just doesn't have anything to do with what I'm trying to say, and it's just not needed in my bio to help explain my situation tell me! I will do my best to make sure if someone comments that I will respond but I'm doing schoolwork so it won't be immediately, but I will try to respond to everyone when I can. I joined this website for support from people who might understand what I'm going through and might have some advice that helped them. I mentioned in my bio I am not diagnosed with OCD so I understand if you don't think I should be talking about my situation on here. I came here because I think I might have OCD, but I am not diagnosed in any way, and I am not trying to diagnose myself. If anyone thinks anything negatively about something I said, please comment on this post what it was that made you feel that way and something I could do to fix the thing I said that you did not like but if you do comment because you have negative thoughts, PLEASE TELL ME but also please try to keep it remotely respectful. I don't want anyone to feel like I am trying to be rude, mean, disrespectful or anything like that so if you do feel like that tell me what I said that needs fixed!!!! I want everyone to be comfortable so if something makes you uncomfortable, please let me know! Sorry about this long message I just want to make sure you guys know to come to me about anything you think of what I said or something I should do or something to make by bio more positive. I am so grateful for anyone that reads this and my bio even if you don't have anything to say about anything I said. I am just grateful that you even read this message. I hope all of you have a wonderful rest of your days/nights! I hope you are able to find the support you need to cope with your struggles because you matter, and you deserve the love, support, and kindness people may not have given you in the past. I hope you all know how amazing you are. I want you all to know proud I am of you for waking up today. I am so proud of you for making it through everything you've been through prior today because you are alive today and right now and that is one of the best things anyone could do. I don't want to sound like I'm trying too hard, but I feel like some people really need to hear it even from a stranger. I hope you all know that even though I don't personally know you I am proud of you for being alive today. You are doing amazing in your journey with your mental health. Sorry if I said too much. Btw I added a trigger warning because some stuff I wrote about in my bio could be triggering if it has any specific tags as to what it is a warning for on this message it probably won't line up with what I said in my bio. Anyways I hope if you read all of this you check out my profile and give me some feedback!