Tw just in case 🎵just read something super triggering on here yay yay yay🎵

wrote a very triggering post. this wasnt supposed to happen. im starting to believe that i'm a ****phile that suppress its feelings. "Our brains are wired to respond to certain stimuli, like attractiveness, quickly and automatically. This can happen even if we don't consciously want to feel that way. In your case, the combination of the trigger and your brain's automatic reaction might have contributed to the discomfort you felt." but it's wrong. it wasnt supposed to happen. it shouldn't be allowed in my brain to perceive the look of attractiveness in the legs and body of someone that looked so young... i didnt have desire for it though. i was disturbed and distressed when it happened and as i felt and noticed this perception and reaction. it's crazy to think that none of this would have happened if i didnt trigger myself in 2021 at 16 years old.

even a word, or if I read a word that describes an intimate organ is a trigger for my thoughts (images), it even gives me groin..how many more of this😑!?!?

TW - Groinal Responses 18+ Also tmi As of the last week or two, I have no idea why or how, but the groinal responses have gotten so, so much worse... Today was so bad... And I'm still having a very hard time. Like, I don't even know if I want to say how bad it really is. It's beyond just obsessing about it; I have to try to distract myself so something doesn't actually happen from the groinal response (I'm intentionally being vague bc I don't want to say much about the situation). I'm seriously struggling... and I don't know what to do or how it can change... This is tmi too, but years ago I had another issue regarding groinal responses. And even just the thought of it made my body do something I would have thought couldn't have happened just from thinking and worrying about it happening [the thing my body did back then isn't as distressing as I'm worried about my body doing now] (and yes, I'm intentionally being vague again) My mind and body are very against me right now...