I don't think I slept at all last night. At most, 2 hrs. I'm really scared for this day lol

I have hold back my tears . I’m trying so hard to play it off. I can’t think about it anything without on the verge of falling apart . I have no self control over my mind . I’m scared. Is this a psychosis . I have barely eaten in days . My stomach is growling but I have no appetite. Idk what’s going on . Normally if I have a rough week I can fight it but I can’t fight it this time. My biggest fear is loosing my bf. I’m spending the day with him and all I can do it think about what’s gonna happen when I leave .

No I’m not attempting or anything. I am just really in a depressive state as of now. I am so convinced that my fear is real you don’t even know. I don’t know what to do. I just want to go to sleep and wake up in a reality where this is all gone. But honestly I don’t know if that would change anything. I’m scared that this is who I was all along, and I’ve just been delaying what I will eventually become. I don’t want to do ANYTHING that my intrusive thoughts say AT ALL. But honestly that doesn’t mean anything anymore. I’m so convinced of the thought “you’ve been doing it this whole time without realizing it.” I think it’s true now. I feel incredibly stuck. I just want to be hugged :(

Hi guys, So last night I said “If I don’t complete this” then I couldn’t eat or it would give me anxiety forever. Then I got hungry and ate anyways… I woke up with anxiety early this morning. So now that means it came true? Sometimes I go a long time without eating. I don’t know what the heck to do! Ugh!