Nour04
- Date posted
- 3y
bellagbellag
- Date posted
- 3y
hey, i’ve been through this. also, you commented on one of my posts! first off, take a deep breath. the fact that you’re disturbed should show you that you don’t want that! ocd likes to trick you into thinking it’s your actual feelings/thoughts. unfortunately, you have to sit with the fear and that’s not easy :(. so take your time. you could also press the SOS button.
Nour04Nour04
- Date posted
- 3y
but it doesn't feel like i am that bothered. it feels like i want it. i don't even know if i do or not. saying i don't want to feels like a lie :(
bellagbellag
- Date posted
- 3y
@Nour04 it’s all ocd, uncertainty is ocd! everything you’re experiencing is the disorder itself. i promise it will all be ok ❤️
MRR7221MRR7221
- Date posted
- 3y
Ugh I have dealt with HOCD with for about a 1&1/2 to 2 years about 3-4 years ago. I was actually dating a guy at the time as well when these thoughts came about. OCD is the doubting disease. Like the person who commented above me says, it will trick you into thinking that they are real thoughts because they SEEM and FEEL real. That’s what OCD does unfortunately. OCD will make you continually doubt that your thoughts aren’t real.
bellagbellag
- Date posted
- 3y
this!! ^ going through TERRIBLE rocd right now. makes me feel and think things that are given to me by ocd itself :( but yes you’re 100% right!
MRR7221MRR7221
- Date posted
- 3y
@bellag I’m so sorry you are dealing with ROCD right now. I recently just “got over” that. I constantly had to check and recheck if I was in love with my husband or not.. it was so mentally draining. I hope you can overcome this. and now I’m onto my next obsession, False Memory OCD where my mind is saying I have a memory from the past molesting babies from the daycare I went to 12 years ago… /: they feel SO real. Like I can see the pictures in my head of my doing it but have NO memory of it happening :( it just feels so real!!! It’s so hard to understand how a mental illness can make something in your mind seem so real….
MRR7221MRR7221
- Date posted
- 3y
@bellag Like right now I don’t even know what are real and fake memories anymore :(
bellagbellag
- Date posted
- 3y
@MRR7221 oh no! im so sorry that you had to go through it. and that you’re going through False Memory Ocd. im also having that one too, along with Rocd. everything about OCD just feels SO real. but we have to remember that it is just our OCD. it’s hard to sit with it and just let it pass, because the way our brains are wired… we tend to see these terrible thoughts and ponder why we had them and how to make them go away. unfortunately we didn’t ask to be this way but this too shall pass! i wish you nothing but the best. we will get through this! i agree with you, it’s scary how your own mind can make you believe things that are just not real :( and on top of that, our compulsions don’t even help in the long run. it’s terrible! feeling mentally drained right now as well, i’m constantly reassuring myself that i love my boyfriend and that i’m attracted to him.. while also feeling completely numb to everything and not having clear memories… ughhhhhhh
bellagbellag
- Date posted
- 3y
@MRR7221 me too :(
MRR7221MRR7221
- Date posted
- 3y
@bellag Isn’t it the worst thing like… ever?? I’ve actually never been diagnosed with OCD but I know I have it through many years of researching my symptoms and what I deal with. And people who are diagnosed with OCD, I can relate to them so much. I am really excited to try the therapy here with an OCD specialist! The only counseling I’ve gone with was a college counselor who was only a specialist in general anxiety and not OCD. Yes our brains are wired differently and it just sucks :( I hate the checking and rechecking constantly.
bellagbellag
- Date posted
- 3y
@MRR7221 me too… literally THE WORST. i understand youu! well i hope you get a diagnosis soon, that way you have some clarity and maybe get on a medicine? i don’t go to an OCD therapist either. just a CBT therapist (in person).. going to a psychiatrist soon! so excited.. 🙄 but maybe i should try a therapist on here! let me know how it goes :). i’m so excited for you! i hope things get easier. no person deserves to deal with this debilitating disorder :(.
MRR7221MRR7221
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you so much! I hope everything goes well for you as well!! I hope to get on some medicine and a diagnoses soon! Thank you and I’m excited for you too! May God bless you through this crazy OCD journey ❤️
MRR7221MRR7221
- Date posted
- 3y
@bellag
bellagbellag
- Date posted
- 3y
anytime, and you too love! God bless you and your journey.❤️ i hope to talk to you again! :)
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Anonymousssssss
- Date posted
- 18w
Idk what to do
Hey yall, having a tough time. I’ve been struggling with intrusive thoughts while I self pleasure and it GENUIENLY feels like I enjoy them for whatever reason. And then now about half an hour later it’s like okay it’s a sexual thought but I might not actually like it. Idk I just really hate myself, because I basically genuinely liked it in the moment
vaiiolyn
- Date posted
- 13w
Lesbian with Sexual Orientation OCD
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
vaiiolyn
- Date posted
- 13w
feeling helpless
As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.
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