HELP I don't know if it's really the ROCD talking or it's reality, but I always liked to stick my lover and now it's made it difficult to be close and kiss ... is like i don't care if this is over and this is the end i need help

From the way you’re talking it kind of seems like you’re freaking out over it so I would maybe just try sitting with the thoughts for now and let them be there maybe the will pass on the mean down I would try to do something to maybe help take your mind off of it