I just experienced two cases of "unintentional ERP" back to back. I was in the middle of doing a compulsion that just wasn't working, and in the end, it didn't. It was not recoverable by means of just another compulsion to make up for it, I ended up not being able to fully follow through with or carry out the compulsion successfully, as it was just no longer even a physically possible demand that my OCD was asking for at this point. I didn't expect I would cry, but I did. I broke down, because I'm just not use to it, like I can't even remember the last time I didn't just give in to a compulsion because it "felt" absolutely necessary, when I "logically" knew, and still know, that its not. Tonight, it was just some ridiculous thing again as always, a matter of my clean clothes and/or accessories brushing up against something that I perceived NOT to be clean, like specifically, the old tissue that I had lazily just left sitting around, forgot to throw out, and now have forgotten what I even used it for in the first place. Based on that, I don't know what's "on" the tissue, all I know is that it touched my glasses. I had already had a very stressful shower, filled with compulsion after compulsion of overly-perfected washing related actions, that usually always adds up to about an hour of me having run the water, so at this time, I just didn't have the energy or the willingness anymore to rinse off my glasses, smear soap all over the lenses, and probably still have some dried up soap on them by the end of it, just making it hard to see through them. So I cried again, for the second time in just 5 or 10 minutes, this being after my clothes had "already" come in contact with something in the bathroom before I had even gotten a chance to change into them yet, causing me some sort of irrational distress that most people would not get, as they just wouldn't care. It's not even a public bathroom for god's sake, it's my own bathroom in my own house. I have convinced myself over the years that I should avoid at all costs, touching the floor, the counter, the mirror, the doorknob, the light switch, with the palm of my hand, unless of course...I wash my hands right afterwards. I can touch all of these things with my elbow however, and I have trained myself to be able to turn some things on and off with that part of my body. As for anything else, I can resort to maybe the back of my hand. Anyways...moral of the story if you've even managed to get this far, is I haven't been able to start ERP'ing from a "voluntarily" standpoint, despite really wanting to, because my OCD is just that stubborn, and I hope that ERP will eventually become something I can more easily practice, but ya, perhaps it was a good thing that this exposure to discomfort happened (even if by accident, involuntarily, and unplanned), so I could get that first taste of what ERP is like. Now there was nothing NOT emotional about it. I know that ERP can sometimes stand for Emotional Response Prevention, but there was definitely an emotional reaction. But I'm sure this is okay and not unheard of in the beginning of ERP treatments for others as well. Anyways guys, I'm exhausted...