the thoughts don't feel intrusive anymore, it's like i am generating them just to "prove" i have ocd

when i’m not thinking about a compulsion so i do things “regularly” does that mean it’s not OCD? i’m just confused is it all in my head? am i just faking it in my head all this time? sorry for posting so much my mind likes to go spiral lol

Whenever anyone starts to feel like their thoughts are less triggering or they feel a moment of happiness/ relief OCD tells you that you want the thoughts back or you actually like having the thoughts and maybe thats just the person I really am? I feel like im going insane😢

Does anyone else’s OCD convince them that bad thoughts are not actually that bad…. Like I know they are so why do I feel like they arent😭😭