i was so distressed a while ago and now i've taken a shower, dressed up and ready to go out??? why??? am i not distressed? why am i so indifferent? is this not ocd?? and yet i am not so worried about not being anxious! i don't feel like this is ocd anymore :(

Girl you're recovering. why are you so upset about it😭

I get this particular obsession a lot ! recovery is not linear, and it isn’t “evidence” of never having had an illness - it’s just evidence of progress. you deserve to get better!! being anxious sucks, but showering and leaving the house are big big progress markers and they definitely do not undermine/disprove 1) your ocd diagnosis nor 2) the intensity of your feelings right now. these things can all exist! recovery is weird and full of contradictions - like everything with ocd, we have to accept the “may or may not” and rejoice in the small wins.