- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I understand what you're going through to some extent. ROCD is such an angry part of OCD and it has been (for me) one of the more aggressive sides of the disorder. I know this might sound insane but the best thing to do is ask yourself this. "Is this person worth my time if they left me for their ex?" Because here's the thing if they leave you for an ex they are not worth your time. I know that sounds like it's easier said than done. But that's one of the only ways I have gotten through it myself. I use to look my boyfriends letters to Exes (he kept them in a box) and I used to so angry at him. As of rn, we don't talk. I don't text him anymore. I only talk to him when he comes home from work. it's such a hard part of the disorder. But you have to just remind yourself. "There are better people out there" and if you and your partner don't work out just know, they just weren't worth your time. Idk if this helps. But I hope so.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you so so much, it does help 💕 I will keep this in mind for sure
- Date posted
- 4y
Is there some reasoning for the roommate not knowing? Like would she/he be spiteful or something?
- Date posted
- 4y
My partner is afraid of hurting the roommates feelings and is very very nervous with confrontation and has issues with feeling immense guilt, the roommate would get upset but doesn’t seem to be too spiteful or anything. But did freak out upon seeing us hold hands once. My partner doesn’t want to burn any bridges (a fear of theirs even if I don’t think it would), which honestly makes me upset but I can respect their choice of ‘waiting for the right time to tell the roommate’ which may never come
- Date posted
- 4y
@602pm Well do you guys have plans of moving in together? Listen your concerns are valid, having to hide your relationship for two years sounds tremendously hard. I'm not saying that's reason to not be with them or not that's a maybe maybe not type thing, but I think you're valid in your hurt and sometimes it's okay to accept that circumstances are not ideal.
- Date posted
- 4y
@whatadooo We are looking for a place to move out together soon, which is what I’ve been trying to hold out on.. It was supposed to happen sooner but Covid really messed things up, perfect storm type situation Thank you for this💕 it’s hard to differentiate between ROCD and validity sometimes and I imagine they’re interchangeable/hold hands as well making it much harder 😔
- Date posted
- 4y
Maybe they are cheating on me. Maybe this two years has been a joke and things have been happening behind my back. Maybe I will never make them as happy as the roommate. Maybe I’m here to be a binkie and a financial help only and I’m being messed around with until shit gets figured out for them both. Aaauuuugh.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
I don’t know where to begin, this is going to be very long. But whoever responds I appreciate you dearly. I’m 20 years old, I’ve dealt with a lot in my childhood with abandonment and insecurity issues from my family. Aswell of not having a role model of a healthy relationship shown to me as a child. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years, my first healthy relationship. Last year I discovered OCD (I am diagnosed but I ignored my mental health as a teenager like anybody would) I started to get these feelings that I don’t love my partner/he’s not attractive enough/ etc etc. I’ve discovered that it’s ROCD. I made threads on Reddit asking for advice googling for reassurance, all the things as one would do with ocd (as I’m doing now!) One day I woke up and that theme was gone, I felt normal in my relationship for about 4 months with no terrible thoughts. As of about 2-3 months ago, my theme switched. Now I have a fear he doesn’t love me, he’s cheating, he doesn’t want to marry me. It has utterly consumed me (just like my last theme!) I check his phone an unhealthy amount (guess what I never find anything!) He always lets me go through his phone, but as anyone would he gets annoyed and frustrated. I always am searching for signs if he’s acting weird, will get into arguments 24/7 because my brain keeps telling me he’s cheating, I get fake scenarios in my brain, hell I even bought Snapchat+ to stalk his snap score. But ever single time I find nothing. A lot of things trigger me and I over analyze everything, phone calls who his texting. When I do search his phone I check his EMAIL because of how paranoid I am. When I see things on social media about people cheating I SPIRALLLL But what really triggered me was this scenario, his family loves to joke around with me and mess with him at the same time, especially with our relationship, saying I have a leash on him etc etc making jokes (which I can take but when I’m in an ocd spiral and they have no idea something’s are triggering) anyways, we were out to lunch and his mother texts him “are u at some girls house” he told me straight away then responded “why would u say that” then she proceeded to say she’s messing around with him. And sent a picture of me and said I’m with Hailey at lunch, then they had a normal conversation after. Obviously this sent me into a spiral, it still bothers me. I was so upset and anxious, when we got back to his house I went through that man’s phone like it was my only job in the world. And I search EVERYTHING not one thing goes untouched. (I sound insane) anyways we went back to his place, then he called his mom to come in his room and asked why she said that, she felt guilty and said she was messing around she had her hands in her head (mind you she’s been drinking probably just messing around with him when she texted that) she told me not to worry ever about that kind of stuff because her son is not that type of man, she proceeded to leave the room then texted me about how sorry she was and didn’t mean to freak me out and felt like shit about it. Ever since then she’s been acting kind of weird towards me (not really) maybe she’s uncomfortable or there’s another women idk LOL. Anyways yea what the hell do I do I literally can’t function properly.
- Date posted
- 16w
So I have been struggling with the same theme of ocd for 4 months now. My ocd centers around past events/false memories that ocd skews to make seem bad or it twists my thoughts on what my intentions were. this is related to cheating or being weird while I have been in my amazing relationship. I have never cheated on my partner and never will and I believe it is wrong. But my ocd is telling me other wise. I love my partner so very much and I would never want to hurt him but my brain is getting to me. I was getting better. I was trying “maybe I did, maybe I didn’t”, I have been back on meds and in therapy and I stopped confessing random interactions from years/months ago about 1.5 weeks ago and it really helped. But now I woke up this morning and feel the pit in my stomach again. I feel extra critical and like why would you do this? What does this say about you? What was your intention with this? And I’m just stuck mentally reviewing and ruminating on everything you could imagine. I know my personality and I know in the moment maybe I did find them attractive but mainly I was just being nice or funny or even just a good friend, but looking back now I’m like “was it flirting?” “Why did I still snap this person” “why would I even talk to them” and stuff like that. I feel this intense sense of guilt. I have told my partner everything that I keep getting stuck on and he didn’t care, he said he understands or “that’s a little weird but it’s okay” and hasn’t missed a beat. He said eveything I’ve told him is normal and I’ve heard that from my friends too. I just really need help. I don’t know what to do anymore. I am so disappointed because I thought I was gonna be done with this, so why am I still so worried and caught up in this.
- Date posted
- 6w
So this is my second post of the day and before I post this I’m not looking for reassurance just feeling very fearful about this situation and need to vent. Sometimes my false memory ocd gets so bad I have to download past data of any apps on social media to make sure I didn’t do anything and even then it doesn’t help. I did that with my Snapchat data and I saw that I had someone from a very toxic and past relationship on my snap that I remembered I had deleted a couple weeks after my boyfriend and I started dating. I didn’t notice it until I recently had the compulsion to go recheck all the data I downloaded to make sure. When I saw the date I deleted them and that it was a couple weeks after my boyfriend and I got together, I felt my face get hot, I started tearing up and I started freaking out. And then of course my thoughts started rolling in “What if you deleted them because you texted them and did it to make sure your boyfriend didn’t see?” Or “What if you still had their number in your phone and texted them?” Etc. etc. I felt horrible after I noticed that he was still on my snap, I know I forgot because I was only focused on my boyfriend and I spending time together, and I don’t hardly ever use Snapchat in general so I just basically leave the app alone and such. I’m just so worried now and It’s bothering me. I also experienced a thought like “What if I knew he was still on there and I kept him on there on purpose?” I can’t deal with these thoughts anymore, they’re so exhausting, and the fact that I even have these thoughts and they always try to attack my relationship just makes me so mad and upset.
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