- Username
- Amagicmarie
- Date posted
- 587d ago
- "Pure" OCD
- Existential OCD
I wouldn’t say I have that type of ocd but I’ve had moments where I was like “is this really real” and not being able to fathom how real life is. I think just accepting the feelings and going back to what you’re doing helps.
Yes, I suffered from existential OCD for months straight, especially believing that I'm living in some sort of schizophrenic delusion. I would try compulsion rituals like pinching myself, waking myself up, etc. Every time I would find ways to reassure myself like, "People living in a dream don't feel pain, so I should be fine." And I would proceed to pinch myself, or test my sense of smell and taste, etc. The goal to beating this obsession is understanding this, and it is a hard pill to swallow but it is necessary: If what you fear is true, that it is inevitable no matter what you do, that you will be stuck in this dream/schizophrenic reality, and there is no way of knowing whether or not you truly are in a dream/simulation etc, then what do you do? You have two options: A - Spend the rest of your life reality testing and trying to prove whether or not anything is real, logically this would mean even googling things about whether or not you are schizophrenic or not could very well be figments of your own imagination as well, since you may be living in your own reality. And if you are wrong, you will have lived your entire life worrying about this not being able to enjoy anything. B - Continue to live your life the best you can accepting the uncertainty of whether or not everything is real, and understand the fact that you simply cannot know this fact. This may be a hard pill to swallow, but it is necessary in overcoming this fear.
Did you eventually get over that obsession?
@Amagicmarie Yes, once I came to the understanding that I simply could not know whether or not reality was or wasn't real, I stopped because it became pointless. Every single time I would do a reality testing compulsion like testing my sense of smell, I would then ask "but what if I'm in a dream so realistic that I'm able to smell and taste?" And eventually you just come to a conclusion that no matter how hard you try, you simply cannot know, and it would be easier living in a reality where you're not worrying about these things because it becomes useless as it wouldn't change whether or not I actually am living in another reality.
@joshnocd But then what's the point of doing anything if you don't know ?
@Amagicmarie With this you just have to ask yourself, what happens if you are wrong? If you are wrong, then you will have spent your entire life worrying about whether or not reality is real, and missed out on so many different things because you haven't accepted the uncertainty of something that you cannot know. And if you're right? Then what changes? Turn the fear into motivation, because if this is your own reality, then that means you can make whatever you want out of it. You can pursue your biggest dreams. You can go to France and visit the eifell tower. If it is true, then this is your reality and you have no other choice than to make the best of it.