i hate this so much i keep saying no to this awful disgusting thought and i just thought maybe i want it and i don’t not even in the slightest no no no but why can’t my mind just take that and let it go.

It’s like my brain is doing everything in its power to convince myself and also justify an attraction to teenagers. I hate myself. I don’t want to be this person, but what if I don’t have a choice. How do I get these thoughts out of my head permanently. I feel like my life will never be the same if they don’t leave forever. I can’t tell what is a real desire and what OCD is trying to convince me is a real desire. I can’t do this every day for the rest of my life. I don’t want to hurt anyone, or I don’t think I do but how do I even tell anymore. This might not even be OCD at this point, I can’t separate my thoughts from OCD thoughts I think because I’ve had OCD for so long so it all just feels like me. Maybe it is me. TMI but I haven’t pleasured myself in like a week because my libido is so low now, I don’t want to do it with these thoughts.

Why does my pocd always try to tell my I agree with bad stuff or tell me bad stuff is normal etc… I don’t agree with it but it feels like my body and brain does but I always am like wtf after I get the thought but sometimes if I try to let it pass that feels like I’m agreeing with it. Like omg bro I hate this

i’ve been having harm ocd thoughts for like a week straight. graphic images of hurting my family. i would never ever want to hurt them. i dont think i can do this anymore. they wont go away.