i’m panicking so much rn that this is some dark desire i’ve always had but i’ve never even thought about this before but i keep saying no i don’t want this but then i get the doubts of what if i do what if you do and i hate it so much i feel like a liar but i’m not i hate this so fucking much

"Pure" OCD

Harm OCD

Yes you’re totally a lot . These are your deepest desires . You are a horrible person . (Say this to yourself as ERP) 

Try to work on ERP on these thoughts. After some time, the thoughts will loose the power & you won't be so borthered by them. Medication also helps.