I am sorry for your pain. I once doubted being with the person I love too. I even doubted I loved him. Thinking maybe I should be with someone else. Just sit with these feelings of worry and anxiety for now please. Remember the reasons you are with him in the first place and try to block out the opinions of others. You did nothing wrong, friend, you are just in pain and seeking help. Your brain is not your friend at the moment so don’t do anything rash in your relationship. Sit with these feelings and do the work and do something kind for your partner. You are not alone. You have friends on this platform.
That means alot thank you. I'm just really struggling x