the worst thing about having soocd and rocd together is that when you get intimate, you think you’re supposed to be with the same sex and that you’d rather be with someone else

When i do the compulsion of checking if i want my bf or a girl it always makes me feel like with my bf i cant kiss 1nd then i am like this is because of ocd but when i then think about kissing a woman it feels like it would go easy , shouldnt the compulsion bring me peace like bad reassurance ? Does this mean i am not into men , it feels way to similar ,like my intrusive thoughts are like normal thoughts

When i have this scenario in my head : kissing a girl in my bed , i can image it very much mike i like it and it will come naturally I dont know if i really like it and i dont like that i like the idea Or That i just dont like the idea Also feeling really weird and maybe even sort of disgusted of my bf when i image the same scenario with him, or i feel like i cant image kissing him Wtf is this ?

having so-ocd has to be the hardest thing ever, and having different sub types pop out after is even harder. i want these thoughts to stop, when i think about ending up with a man i feel like it’s the end of the world, when a sexual or romantic thought about a man pops up i feel like throwing and my stomach hurts. i don’t want to be straight or end up with a man. i know my body knows what it wants and that’s why it’s making me anxious and stressed but i just want this ocd to stop, i miss who i was before this. are there any tips on how to battle SO-OCD and be back to who you were? i was in remission for almost a month and the thoughts that did come i didn’t care for, but it’s back harder this time.