I been through what you're going through. Just relax, your anxiety is making everything worse and making your over think and over analyze every single situation. Just continue not engaging with the thoughts and don't give them power and you will be okay. And I understand that "feeling" that you have which makes it feel so real but it's your anxiety.
I’m scared it’s real this time
@anonymousN Don't worry, I always feel the same way. The thing that keep me going is that everytime that I've been bad I always get better again, it's just your ocd is spiking right now and you are giving into it too much. Starting right now treat it like what it is, just a random thought. If you don't engage with it at all and don't avoid anything that triggers you, after a few days you will feel better. And if course it feels real, or else this wouldn't be a problem lol it will feel so real you feel like you're screwed but just relax and whenever you get bad thoughts or intrusive thoughts just say "that was weird" and keep going with your day. DO NOT check if you liked it or not because you are giving validity to a random thought that doesn't matter and giving it power. Also don't avoid things that trigger, let them trigger you and try your hardest not to check yourself to see if you liked it or not
@Anonymous Okay I’m trying . I googled gender identity and it triggered me a lot like it always does . I don’t know why I keep doing that .
@anonymousN Yeah DONT Google anything lol. One of my compulsions was googling things about hocd constantly to get reassurance that I have hocd but reassurance is horrible, it's what keeps ocd going. Just don't search up anything with sexual identity because it will trigger you very bad. A form of erp is to read stories of people coming out and it will trigger you so bad but it's best to do that with your therapist so he can explain to you the compulsions to avoid while doing that, or else you will just panic and make it worse. But yeah don't search anything up anymore because you are giving that thought power. Just sit in the uncomfort and it will get better