This is literally unbearable- I am so anxious, tense and guilty all the damn time, so much so my muscles ache. I am tired... Tired of this, tired of everything.,.

Don’t give up. I completely relate but I want to tell you that it gets easier! It sounds strange, but try just having the thoughts on purpose and just hold them in your head. The more you do that, the more used to it you’ll be to them and the less scary they’ll feel. Those thoughts mean absolutely nothing about you and I know you are a smart, kind, wounderful person who would never do anything wrong! You will get through this!