- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Tallyho! Welcome to the NOCD community. First of all, I'd like to say that it takes a lot of courage to talk about your struggle with OCD. You're never alone here and many of us know exactly what you're going through. I'd like to add this one piece of advice: The more you obsess about finding the answer or finding yourself or seeking the "truth," the hazier your perspective will become. In neuroscience, there is a law by Donald Hebb that says "what fires together, wires together" meaning that your neurons become associated throughout time and create learned associations. OCD sufferers are notoriously good at creating non existent associations š. The more you focus on these associations, the more they wire together and therefore, they feel more "real." I hope that advice can help shed light on your situation. Good luck!
- Date posted
- 3y
That makes alot of sense but my worry is that I dont think I was trying to find an answer or the truth( Maybe I was in the back of my head and didnt realize) but the rumination happened on auto pilot and it gave me so much proof and all of it made sense too :(
- Date posted
- 3y
Accept the fact you may be gay and then see where that goes. You know within yourself whether you are just allow your mind to wander and focus on each day. Eventually these thoughts will fade. I had one the other day where I thought I was a monster. My heart was racing, I could hear the āwhat itāsā in my head but I didnāt engage them. I let them be there and said ok maybe I am. The next day I think about the same scenario and realise it was OCD and itās nothing.
- Date posted
- 3y
I dont know who I am within myself
- Date posted
- 3y
I feel like this too, I feel like I've convinced myself and when I think about guys I feel nothing. I literally have no anxiety either, and no anxiety about anxiety but it's definitely hurting my brain. It feels like I like girls or that I should start liking them bc my attraction to guys isn't there :/
Related posts
- Date posted
- 13w
Iāve completely lost myself. I canāt focus on my studies, I canāt go to the gym. Dang it I canāt even be around my male friends normally anymore. I got no idea why or how this happened but the only thing I know for sure is that I never questioned my sexuality neither doubted it. I never cared in general. I just liked girls. I keep testing and keep testing and keep testing my arousal but no matter how many times I see but I donāt feel the same way for guys that I do with girls my mind will always try to make me believe that I am gay. Itās like itās forcing me into an identity I never asked for. But at the end of the day like my psychologist told me. Sexuality doesnāt change. So since I never felt anything for guys in my life itās ocd. Iāve been up and down for 5 months now and while the last week I was feeling way better. Monday now and Iām back to zero. I just want to go back when everything was normal. I canāt keep living with this.
- Date posted
- 13w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I donāt want, and then tries to convince me that I do. Itās painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I donāt want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but Iām terrified that one day Iāll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. Iāve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that Iām "bisexual." Iāve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge meātelling me, āYou donāt even know what love feels like.ā It wonāt shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that Iām a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
- Date posted
- 6w
i had recently been triggered to have so-ocd. its been on my mind non-stop. (i am a heterosexual female) and my mind has been all over the place questioning if i have been in denial the entire time. ive always had people tell me they sort of got that vibe it it never really affected me until my own mother had her suspicions. so i would constantly get triggered un public around the same gender, while knowing my true sexuality. ive always been attracted to men but as of recently ive been having super bad anxiety to where i cannot eat or sleep and feel weak all the time. it was like that for a week or so. now im in the calm where i have been trying accept the uncertainty but it still isnt fair as im getting triggered. im a little worried because it feels like i have been lying to my parents the entire time although ive never had the desire to be with the same gender. and i keep getting intrusive thoguhts that make me feel anxious and uncomfortable. its all starting to affect my friendships as im constantly getting triggered with the intrusive thoguhts. i feel a little less anxious compared to how i was a couple days ago. im really scared on why im having these thoughts now when i have been having romantic feelings for a guy the past year or so. ive also been struggling with false attraction and loss attraction to men. it makes me feel uncertain of my life the entire time
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