- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Tallyho! Welcome to the NOCD community. First of all, I'd like to say that it takes a lot of courage to talk about your struggle with OCD. You're never alone here and many of us know exactly what you're going through. I'd like to add this one piece of advice: The more you obsess about finding the answer or finding yourself or seeking the "truth," the hazier your perspective will become. In neuroscience, there is a law by Donald Hebb that says "what fires together, wires together" meaning that your neurons become associated throughout time and create learned associations. OCD sufferers are notoriously good at creating non existent associations š. The more you focus on these associations, the more they wire together and therefore, they feel more "real." I hope that advice can help shed light on your situation. Good luck!
- Date posted
- 3y
That makes alot of sense but my worry is that I dont think I was trying to find an answer or the truth( Maybe I was in the back of my head and didnt realize) but the rumination happened on auto pilot and it gave me so much proof and all of it made sense too :(
- Date posted
- 3y
Accept the fact you may be gay and then see where that goes. You know within yourself whether you are just allow your mind to wander and focus on each day. Eventually these thoughts will fade. I had one the other day where I thought I was a monster. My heart was racing, I could hear the āwhat itāsā in my head but I didnāt engage them. I let them be there and said ok maybe I am. The next day I think about the same scenario and realise it was OCD and itās nothing.
- Date posted
- 3y
I dont know who I am within myself
- Date posted
- 3y
I feel like this too, I feel like I've convinced myself and when I think about guys I feel nothing. I literally have no anxiety either, and no anxiety about anxiety but it's definitely hurting my brain. It feels like I like girls or that I should start liking them bc my attraction to guys isn't there :/
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I feel awful that I keep coming on here whenever Iām down bad but oh my gosh OCD is the most painful shit that I have EVER experienced in my life and I have a physical chronic illnessā¦. I hate to say it but I hate living right now itās too painful⦠im crying as I type to the point where my stomach is hurting, I have pretty severe ocd I do have generalized anxiety and idk if that is connected with ocd but because of that I have most of the subtypes REAL EVENT OCD,POCD,ZOCD,ROCD,SOCD HARM OCD, you name it and I got it!!! a lot of also why I have have those theme is trauma growing up and involving those things^ as of right now iām 25 and a women with the most loving boyfriend in the entire world before my ocd hit me I NEVER questioned my love and care and attraction with the love of my life I always knew I was going to marry and be with this person the rest of my life! Now with ocd it confuses me soooo much and now I think Iām gay and didnāt realize or indenial and listen I get it ādonāt look for reassurance!ā āItās not the thing ocd is attacking that is the problem ocd is the actual problem!ā Hereās the thing with that if Iām in a relationship and Iām gay that would mean I would have to leave that said relationship and to say that āoh yeah that stuff happens and youāll move onā is absolutely devastating to me this is THE LOVE OF MY LIFE and your telling me that iv been lying to myself this whole time or that I didnāt realize?!?!? And that sexuality can change (even though some say it canāt google says otherwise and some people have said it canāt idek anymore) and all this other BULLSHIT I canāt take it WHY?!?! why does this have to happen why canāt I just be with my love the rest of my life?!? and yes before anyone says anything I have been attracted to girls more so when I was younger watching lesbian porn liking the bodyās and fantazing them sexually it stopped when I got older but I still donāt get disgusted with women who are pretty it just makes me uncomfortable because Iām with the love of my life and before I remember talking to my partner and discussing certain childhood things I experienced and we discussed that we both could be a little bi and for certain Iām (demi sexual so I donāt even really care about looks) and I truly didnāt care!! NOW I do care even with being bi because again I donāt like thinking about anyone else but my partner but I do also know my parents are homophobic and I do think about if I am gay they wouldnāt be okay with that and I also dont want to deal with that so now I sound like in indenial right?!???? I didnāt even care about labels before my ocd it just didnāt matter but now itās effected my sex life and itās hard for me to enjoy sex with being so confused Iām so confused I googled everything can you still have sexual fantasies with same gender but still be straight? Can you fantasize about same gender or imagine marrying them all of it !!! And non of that disgusts me it just makes me uncomfortable AGIAN only bc I just love the partner Iām with right now!!! Iām so fucking confused do I have to leave my partner and accept that Iām gay is that going to happen in the future if I get better with ocd and find out itās been true all along?!???
- Date posted
- 13w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I donāt want, and then tries to convince me that I do. Itās painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I donāt want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but Iām terrified that one day Iāll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. Iāve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that Iām "bisexual." Iāve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge meātelling me, āYou donāt even know what love feels like.ā It wonāt shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that Iām a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
- Date posted
- 7w
I had a bad rumination spiral yesterday and went to bed hoping Iād start over in the morning. I was wrong. I had dreams about liking women and not being attracted to men anymore and my entire body has been in a state of anxiety since. I genuinely feel like Iām gay and just need to accept it. I have this urge to accept it. Maybe if I do Iāll get some sort of relief because this feeling is awful. I feel like my brain is telling me that Iāll get relief if I just accept it and come out. The intrusive thoughts donāt even seem to be around sexual images anymore, just to come out.
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