I just woke up and I feel completely gay, my anxiety feels like its high, I cant tell. I dont think I like women anymore bc how much I have convinced myself from the "proof" from my past. I could have deluded myself into believing that, either that or Im just gay. I cant tell fully tell, I just feels like I like the same sex members now. Im scared guys, I dont want to deal with another attack, Im already so exhausted and mentally drained. What should I do please help, any tips just please make this stop, Im losing my mind

Tallyho! Welcome to the NOCD community. First of all, I'd like to say that it takes a lot of courage to talk about your struggle with OCD. You're never alone here and many of us know exactly what you're going through. I'd like to add this one piece of advice: The more you obsess about finding the answer or finding yourself or seeking the "truth," the hazier your perspective will become. In neuroscience, there is a law by Donald Hebb that says "what fires together, wires together" meaning that your neurons become associated throughout time and create learned associations. OCD sufferers are notoriously good at creating non existent associations 😉. The more you focus on these associations, the more they wire together and therefore, they feel more "real." I hope that advice can help shed light on your situation. Good luck!

Accept the fact you may be gay and then see where that goes. You know within yourself whether you are just allow your mind to wander and focus on each day. Eventually these thoughts will fade. I had one the other day where I thought I was a monster. My heart was racing, I could hear the ‘what it’s’ in my head but I didn’t engage them. I let them be there and said ok maybe I am. The next day I think about the same scenario and realise it was OCD and it’s nothing.

I feel like this too, I feel like I've convinced myself and when I think about guys I feel nothing. I literally have no anxiety either, and no anxiety about anxiety but it's definitely hurting my brain. It feels like I like girls or that I should start liking them bc my attraction to guys isn't there :/