- Username
- annonymous
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I'm so sorry... I have literally been through the exact same thing as you and I can tell you it's super hard and very traumatizing. My sister saw the texts to another woman off my dads phone when I was 13, and I saw one to the same woman from 9 years ago at the beginning of this year. You're going to feel confused, you're going to feel angry & resentful, and the more you try to not let yourself feel whatever you need to feel...you're going to stew in your feelings for way longer than necessary. He's your dad, so its going to hurt a lot but you NEED to process things and talk it out as soon as you feel comfortable. But don't force healing okay? Be patient and gentle when yourself. This is not your fault. I would mention it to your dad after talking about what you saw with a therapist or friend, after you've calmed down. Don't accuse him of anything. I made the mistake of instantly going to my mom and telling her, don't do that lol. Please take care of yourself!
thank you so much!! I wanted to go to my mom first because i’m too scared to confront my dad. It feels good knowing someone else has been through this exact thing:(
@annonymous Definitely bring it up to him and not her first, if your dad is anything like mine, it will end in screaming and blaming lol. But only talk to him after you've calmed down about what you saw to the point where you feel comfortable having a mature...uncomfortable conversation. I'm happy you feel less alone!:)
@alexisrae1999 my dad and I have a very nice relationship and he never yells or anything that much that’s why i’m extra scared to:((( i’m like stuck with this anxiety because i can’t take it but i’m too scared to do anything about it.
@annonymous Try writing out your immediate thoughts in a journal so you can sort them out. That way, your head will be less of a jumbled mess of thoughts and emotions. After doing that it should be easier to let out how you're really feeling to your therapist :)
I am so sorry. This is so devastating.
My parents are divorced and ive dealt with a lot of family drama
So there are different scenarios & ways to handle this ... first - I would call a good friend. Vent it out!!
thank you so much. i am too scsred to talk about this stuff with friends. would it be bad if i texted my therapist? i really trust and confide in her and i don’t have therapy for a few weeks
When my brother caught my dad cheating I think it was traumatizing for him. So this may be traumatizing and I would def text ur therapist or someone get professional advice on what to do - you are so mature and wise to even think to do this!! Go you!! I'm sorry this really sucks. Sending positive vibes to you!!
thank you so so so so much!! i appreciate it a lot. also, now i am afraid that whenever i first think of my sister going to college it will just be damaged with this memory. it’s just the worst feeling like if only i didn’t look at his phone for .1 seconds. ugh.
Try not to worry about that now. Who knows how you will see things in the future. It is normal to feel scared right now. Try to breath and hug yourself. Did you speak to anyone?
not yet for some reason i am nervous to talk to my therapist. thank you so much for all the help by the way.
@annonymous Why are u nervous to talk to ur therapist? And no prob!! Good luck with this!! I think you are doing great! :)
@Anonymous idk i just get scared to talk about stuff like that but i texted her!! thank you so much:)
it will be okay, and yes if you really want to
thank you so much
Hey please take a deep breath first, I know what that must feel like. My mom and dad fight alot too and it crushes me. You need to let go of this as of right now. When you see your therapist next time you can talk about this is stressing you out. If you have a good relationship with your dad perhaps talk to him about it? If not, then give it a few days and think with a clear mind
i do have a good relationship with him and that’s why it crushes me even more. i am too scared to talk to him about it:( also, my therapist is on a break right now because of the thing she’s under or something so yesterday was my last session for 2 weeks. she said i can text her about whatever. should i talk to my mom about it? once this weekend is done. thank you so much by the way
@annonymous Go for it then text them!
Wait before u do anything- double check your dads phone bc what if it really is not what you think ? If it is what you think then evaluate if your dad js safe to bring this info up to him? Does he have anger issues? Is he kind to you? If so- I would honestly confront your dad and mom together. I don't think there is use waiting the weekend. I don't think it's fair that you have to suffer with this information while everyone else has a good time. This is an issue within your family unit and everyone deserves to know and be invovled. Just make sure you are in a safe space mentally and physically for this
Oh 100 percent trxt ur therapist!!!!
Of course!!!
You could also prob find a therapist on call (online) if yours is busy
Bc I may not be giving good advice bc I'm not a trained therapist
I’m scared. I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel so anxious and depressed. I feel so guilty and ashamed. I can’t do this anymore...I need help but I’m scared to get help in fear of being misunderstood. I’ve been misunderstood for so long by my mom she doesn’t get it. She screams at me and makes me feel worse. She talks to me like I’m a disappointment which I know I am. My dad was the only person I could talk to about everything and he passed away a month ago. I wish I could just talk to him about what’s going on and I can’t and it’s driving me crazy. I know it’s the confession that’s a big no no but he could help me through it. I’m scared. I’m absolutely terrified by my intrusive thoughts and so on. I don’t know what to do anymore. I give up. I feel so alone. I don’t know how to move forward. I feel like an evil part of myself is trying to take over. I’m so sorry for ranting I just really need help
I need help please My mom passed away in december of last year and only haver passes some months and It appears my father is talking with another woman. Me and my sister, dont know what we should do. I am starting to get depressed about this. I was feeling better and now I dont know what to do. My sister is angry about this and me too. We havent talked to him yet. What makes me confused is that my sister looks to be talking with someone too... And then theres me, a person who doesnt have any friends, that doesnt talk with nobody. I am a lonely person. Again my sister talked about leaving and without saying, I would end up alone with my father without knowing what to do, like a lost child I feel sometimes I am to people like a poor toy who nobody wants, but that I am used and then they throw me away I dont even know what to do or to feel and yet I need to hear my sister saying I am selfish...
I’m going to be really vulnerable and some of this is embarrassing but I need to talk to somebody. My mom is a narcissist…I was kicked out of the house yesterday for simply responding to something she said, she took it the wrong way and now I’m living with my sister. My father also told my mom he wants a divorce (after the argument) he has left and for the first time we are all separated we always bicker and argue but it’s just us 3, we are all we got. I’m scared and all I want is love…a major part of my ocd is scheduling, timing, planning, lists and saying things just right. I had my week planned out, tomorrow I was supposed to go and spend the money I got for my bday and get my birthday present which was going to adopt a new cat…now I don’t get to. I had my week planned perfectly and now it’s ruined and I keep having panic attacks over it. I also have Asperger’s and I’m scared of the change. My mom told me I could come back tonight and now she changed her mind and said she doesn’t want me back…I made her something for Mother’s Day which I was really proud of and took me almost 3 hours to make. She told me last night she hated it for the soul reason that I made it. Please somebody help me not feel scared for the change. I’m also having panic attacks becuase I wasn’t able to say goodnight the way I like to say it last night and so now that was ruined to (my Asperger’s and OCD combined like me to say things just right every night or my head tells me everything is ruined)
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