I have finally told my older sister about SO-OCD, she’s the only person who knows about it and was really understanding. I even cried talking to her about it, all the overwhelming pent up suffering was loosening.
I still had an anxiety attack after, cause it felt like I have internalized homophobia or I’m still in denial. My thoughts got more heavy and I was devastated as to why I’m feeling/thinking those kind of thoughts despite already sharing it to someone close.
Now the OCD is just targeting this one girl in high school that I found really pretty and smart. I spiraled into so much thoughts about her, it felt so real and convincing that I was sexually/romantically attracted to her that I just shut down.