Oh god it actually feels like I'm in denial, I get feelings like I want it and thoughts like "you saying you don't want it is false and only means ur in denial" and it feels like that, it gets worse at night. I also had like an "epiphany" i feel awful

It feels like every girl I see or talk to i want to like but ugh I dont but it also feels like I want to its so confusing

Ive had many epiphanies, I have them often now even when Im driving or doing something simple. Some were/ are big and bring intial scared and anxious feelings but die down later on. I still have some feelings from my old realizations which still scare me :/. I hope we get through this bc they still are intrusive thoughts at the end of the day