- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Dude I get this on a SPIRITUAL level! I freak out about the stupidest things and spiral down rabbit holes about it. If it helps, he probably wasn't even thinking about her. If he's anything like my husband, that would be the only floor he could think but probably didn't even link it to his past relationship. But I would freak out too! OCD is a b!tch
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you so much for validating me and this. OCD is suuuuuuuch a bitch
- Date posted
- 3y
No I honestly understand that, it makes you feel like a psycho but it's literally something you can't help! There's not anything to be ashamed of, it's just really hard to deal with sometimes I've never really spoke to my boyfriend about it so i can't even blame him when he does because he doesn't know! But that sounds so difficult, sometimes things accidentally do slip out and it's so hard when you know that they know it is a trigger but you can only do the best you can do, i definitely feel like a crazy girlfriend so often! It's so difficult to bring yourseld out of that spiral too so i really do understand
- Date posted
- 3y
Oh wow nice that there are people out there that can relate. It's so weird. It's like being mad or angry is going to help anything. I almost feel like anger and sadness can be addicting, like I could choose to not overreact and just say that's fine. But I choose to be mad or sad. I sometimes even feel like I have to ignore his texts or be distant to him as a from of punishment. Which again is not a thing I would normally do. But when it's about sex I think my underlying fear is that our relationship isn't good enough, and then the fear is expressed in anger. But I hate doing this to him, because he makes such an effort to make me happy. It breaks my heart :( But that's just what ocd does. It will always find ways
- Date posted
- 3y
I completely understand this, my boyfriend references his past relationships or even other girls a lot and I instantly get a wave of jealousy and feel so angry and mad about it, I really struggle to understand where the line is and what is and is not okay to feel jealous or mad about. Just whenever this happens I instantly think that there MUST be something happening there as they have crossed his mind even though he has given me absolutely no reason other than this to believe it. It gets me so confused.
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you so much for sharing. I feel less alone! I truly felt crazy
- Date posted
- 3y
@RelationshipObsessed Mine never references his because he knows it’s a huge trigger for me so it makes me even madder he let that slip out or that that was on his mind. I’m like “you should be more thoughtful!” Then the shame spiral of being a crazy OCD girlfriend…
- Date posted
- 3y
I can deffo understand that. The jealousy thing isn't neccesairy a big ocd theme for me, but more the being mad at my partner part. I get so incredibly mad at him sometimes when he doesn't want sex, which I normally would say is totally out of proportion and completely insensitive. But I just can't help myself when I'm in my ocd mind. It's almost like I want to be mad at him and make him feel bad. And as soon as the anxiety wears off I feel really bad for thinking such things in the first place and I often apologies for overreacting, because he did nothing wrong. But just the anger is so extreme sometimes. Which is very unlike myself
- Date posted
- 3y
Okay I understand this one for suuuuure. I’m like this about sex too. Mad and want to stay mad.
- Date posted
- 3y
Behind the anger is a deep down fear he doesn’t want me or something I guess but it feels like just total anger like I cannot control it and don’t want to stop being mad. That’s a lot of times I think.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 17w
Does anyone else struggle with object permanence in relationships? Like whenever my partner is out of the house I immediately think negatively or I find things wrong with the relationship or him… For background my partner and I always fight over chores (I know it’s common but it’s annoying) I definitely pull more weight than him and I think he has ADHD, which makes him struggle to help and be aware of helping. Lately we’ve been somewhat good with splitting meals and dishes whatever, I know it can change with work stress, fatigue whatever. But last week my partner was out of the house watching his uncle’s dog so he was barely home. He was sleeping over at his uncles house and would come home for meals sometimes and stuff like that. I started becoming super fixated on him not helping with the dishes before he left and would constantly feel urges to yell about it. Even though the week prior everything was good when it came to that (sometimes with my ROCD I’ll even question myself and be like was it?) so I have started 4 separate fights arguing about dishes and chores and mentioning that he doesn’t help enough and if this continues I’ll have to leave… it’s so hard for me to snap out of it and just realize that he was going back and forth and didn’t think to help because he was busy with helping his uncle. And then I get such a negative view of him in my head that I nitpick his appearance, I make comments, etc, because my underlying fear is he doesn’t care to help, he will never change, and we will fail. So it’s almost like I’m looking to have a reason to run before I actually need to? It’s a constant cycle for me and I’m truly so exhausted by myself. But also relationships are so hard for me because I struggled SO much with trying to depend on others that I almost don’t let myself depend on others…. Any advice is appreciated but also just like do you also experience this? Thank you & pls be kind 🥺🥺🥺
- Date posted
- 16w
Hi everyone. I’m having a really hard time today in my relationship. I am just feeling so frustrated by my back-and-forth feelings about my relationship. One day I’ll feel so good, and then the next I don’t at all. I think my biggest trigger in the house is the chores that the two of us have to do in the house. I’m much more of a clean person than my boyfriend is. I’m also thinking that he has ADHD and struggles to remember when to do specific chores and I have to remind him pretty often, but he will usually do it when I ask. Today, I’m on a huge spiral of telling myself that he is never gonna be able to learn to do things on his own, he’s not gonna be able to take care of our kids in the future If we do get married, he’s not gonna be able to help take care of our house when we do have one one day, And I am just exhausted. It’s so hard fighting these thoughts all day and then I feel like I have to sit down and talk to him about chores and obviously that doesn’t go well when I’m not feeling good. Definitely a compulsion… It feels so much better when I can just relax and just let him figure things out on his own, and I can just take care of myself. I also come from a household where I was constantly criticized and controlled in certain ways, so I have that to carry too…I’ve gotten much better at doing that most of the time but today is pretty bad. It always feels a little bit worse as well when I’m on my period and feeling very hormonal as well… Can anyone please shed some light on if they’ve experienced this before and any support they might be able to offer in relation to this? Anything would be helpful and please be kind!
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 8w
I’m gonna try to make this make sense, and any support or advice would be great. I have a beautiful girlfriend, who I’ve been dating off and on for a year. We were really rocky but got our shit figured out 4 months ago and have been strong since. I truly love this girl more than I’ve loved anyone. And I know based off the sheer amount of ocd that has come up on our relationship, that she means a lot to me. Me and her were in a friend group in 2022 and we never liked each other. However she had a sexual relationship with one of my old friends. Fast forward to now I haven’t talked to him in a long time and I don’t see it as an issue. However… I keep having this vivid flashback to him touching her some kinda way in 2022. I can’t remember exactly what happened or the details but it’s running through my head. I guess this is retroactive jealousy but it’s really almost hurting my feelings. I wish it would stop but I know ocd doesn’t work that way. I just wanna be happy with my girl and not upset at her past experiences
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