- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi, I understand your fear and anxiety around comphet - I also struggle a lot with this concept. I have also done a lot of research & have come across a few pages that say comphet can apply to anyone - regardless of their sexual orientation. For example, you dated you best friend when you were 11 because you felt like you had to (comphet - an external force is making you feel like you need to date this kid who is nice and into you because it’s expected) but maybe you’re response afterwards (the disgust and anxiety) was not because you’re a lesbian but because you just were not into him in that way (meaning you just saw him as a friend) - which is normal & okay. Just because you were not into dating this boy doesn’t mean you are a lesbian - it just means you were not attracted to him in that way. Try not to go to much into it, I know it’s hard - trust me I fall down the comphet rabbit hole a lot myself but also understand a lot of these “signs” are universal and can occur for numerous reasons besides being a lesbian. Hope this helps!
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes it’s really important to remember that comphet effects everyone not just lesbians because we all grow up in a heteronormative society.
- Date posted
- 3y
I get what you are saying. I always would really like a guy and want a boyfriend. Then when actually going on a date, etc. I would enjoy it but also get super anxious about him trying to kiss me or something. That definitely made me more worried when having so-ocd. Like have I been faking my feelings for guys and forcing myself to want to have a boyfriend. Though one person I was talking to briefly said that it might actually be a fear of intimacy.
- Date posted
- 3y
I struggle with this as well
- Date posted
- 3y
@cc97 Yeah and it's even more annoying because I have had dreams in the past where I had a boyfriend and I loved those dreams. Now it feels like all of that was forced because in person I get so anxious about it.
- Date posted
- 3y
Im a guy and I think ive had this ick feeling too? I cant remember clearly but this concept scares me too.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I was trying not to think abt it and honestly inwas doing a great job until a woman came on my fyp on tiktok and said “if u think women are objectively more attractive u re not straight” and now i’m so anxious and distressed and am scared i might be comphet. When i was little i remember being obsessed with the “i cant remember to forget u” mv so i rewatched it and thought it was sensual but nothing more. Idk. She also said that if u use a fantasy to get arroused around men u might not like them. Idk anything anymore Im so tired
- Date posted
- 16w
hi i’m a lesbian! and i have known im a lesbian for a really long time and i have a sweet girlfriend of 1 year. it all started when i saw this masc lesbian come out as straight, after that i had my guy friend over and he’s a sweet guy and he was flirting with me (he didn’t know i was gay) im not sure but i panicked and my brain froze and i was like “do i like him”, ever since my brain has been over worked 24/7 for 2 months now and it’s spiralling constantly. im trying to control it but all these thoughts are so disgusting and my brain tries to put him and i in scenarios that make me uncomfortable and i feel panic and i hate it. i have always been comfortable being a lesbian and i still am comfortable as a lesbian, but i dislike these thoughts i have about him and men and i want it to be over. i do not want to experiment with men even tho my brain is telling me i do, i find it disgusting and i dread it, i have a sweet girlfriend and i want to be with her forever, i do not imagine anything with any men and i hate these thoughts. im scared of becoming bisexual/straight one day and i hate hearing sexuality is fluid. its a whole mix of comphet and so-ocd
- Date posted
- 13w
Chat GPT told me its more likely comphet than ocd Idk im scared Im scared that if i accept the uncertainty to know the truth once and for all 1) i end up actually turning out to be lesbian 2) I lose the guy i love (or i think i love idk atp) I’m remembering so many moments of same sex attractions from when i was little Im so scared im so scared Its too much
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