A NOCD friend posted requests for how to start something and how not to get locked into perfectionism once started.
This post is not an answer to those, at least not a magical thing that always works and doesn’t feel like pulling teeth.
I’ve been thinking about using my planner/journal again. I’ve been planning it in my head. Now I’m “forcing” myself to actually write in it today.
It doesn’t feel “right”. There is so much missing that “needs” to be addressed and filled. All of this makes me dread doing it. ** Writing this NOCD post might even be another stall tactic in disguise; however, posting about anything here always makes me feel more accountable. I know if I share it here I feel all of ya. Even when I don’t listen to myself/do it for myself, for everyone here, it’s more manageable.
So I’m “forcing” that first journal post. I’m not turning it into an all night make-up post for the past 7 weeks I missed, though later, I may fill in what’s helpful and already accounted. ** I don’t feel “ready” for it. I don’t want to do it. But I’m going to. Maybe I should tell my OCD what I tell my dog when he sasses me. I remind him that I am more stubborn than he is. So I’ll now be more stubborn than my OCD. It may have taken days of sitting around thinking about it, but I’m doing it. No more just thinking.
** (Also doing this as an edit style rather than more “perfectly” inserting it—) I am also not waiting for September 1st! So now it’s also uneven! The reset button isn’t being pushed on another, predetermined beginning. But it’s still happening TONIGHT.
May we all be more stubborn than our issues. 💪🏼💜