Do I have a crush on this person because I get anxious around them and when they txt me I want to see the message right away and answer immediately?? I’ve been having obsessive thoughts about this person. They are assigned sex at birth a girl but appear “masculine” and date girls. Ever since I had the thought “would I be les/bi if I develop a crush on them?” I kept having thoughts that I like them. They are also my friend and it’s hard to distinguish if I have a crush on them or is it because my obsessive thoughts?

And then they sent a pic of themselves on snap and my brain said “their so cute”. Yea I guess I find them attractive but does that mean I have a crush on them Idkkk and I’m scared this will change my sexual orientation

I understand what you're feeling. It's called false attraction and it's all generated by anxiety. You need to relax and realize it's just thoughts and feelings that mean nothing, ocd lies to you and makes you wonder and feel all types of things. The reason you suddenly started feeling like you may be attracted to them and feeling urges is because your mind is hyper reactive to them right now which is causing all types of feelings which are just anxiety. You need to take the power away from the thoughts by avoid doing compulsions and ruminating. I suggest a therapist to help you with this if you dont already have one

Omg thank you so much I feel so much better knowing what it’s called

@kaylangel4 And you're welcome ahha

I recommend watching a few informational videos on YouTube, but don't get carried away and use it as a compulsion lol. Watch videos by "ozzy jimenez" he has very good videos about hocd

I can relate to this so much, except she’s not my friend but a girl I noticed in high school (I’m in college rn) that she’s pretty and smart nothing more and I haven’t thought about her until OCD came. She’s this small and kinda soft person and when I imagined scenarios with her- it doesn’t feel like me at all and makes me carry a heavy feeling. Then I read about internalized homophobia, now it’s making me feel that it is internalized homophobia with her. She’s been stuck in my mind for a few days now and it’s been leading me to breakdowns and real feelings of being bisexual.

It's just ocd, you are NOT supposed to imagine yourself in scenarios with them to check if you like it or not because that's what gets you in the downward spiral of ocd and creates even more ruminating. You just need to relax and realize that it's ocd thoughts and avoid doing any type of compulsion and after a few days you will feel better and have less intrusive thoughts about it.

@Anonymous I’m undiagnosed btw, I try to keep myself busy and talk to this guy that I like but the image of her is like a background in my head. I try to sit with it, yet it leads to more rumination. I can’t get internalized homophobia out of my mind either

@Kärsiä I highly recommend doing the nocd program with a therapist so that you can plan strategy to overcome ocd. I'm not a therapist but I'm pretty sure you probably have ocd based on what you have said, you can't stop thinking about it and you probably have anxiety and are really worried I bet, and you said you imagine yourself in scenarios to check and you ruminate a lot, those are all signs of ocd. You should watch "ozzy Jimenez" on YouTube, he has some good videos of hocd and he explains well what to do to get better, it doesn't hurt to watch.

@Anonymous Thank you, although NOCD isn’t available in my country and it’s so hard to find an OCD therapist so I have to resort to keep searching online that deals international. I’ll make sure to watch his YouTube vids too.