I cant even look at guys on the street in the eyes. Does not help that I work in food industry, when Im serving guys that trigger me, I lose all focus and get very weird and I know they would tell if I dont have a mask on. My body language completely changes and I get extremely nervous, It wasnt this bad before but now Its crazy. Idk If its good or bad or If I want to or not. When It feels like I want to, I get depressed and confused. I want to go back to being normal but I dont know at all what my normal should look like. Also does anyone here genuinely confused about their sexuality, If they are straight or gay? Is this still hocd?

I’ve completely lost myself. I can’t focus on my studies, I can’t go to the gym. Dang it I can’t even be around my male friends normally anymore. I got no idea why or how this happened but the only thing I know for sure is that I never questioned my sexuality neither doubted it. I never cared in general. I just liked girls. I keep testing and keep testing and keep testing my arousal but no matter how many times I see but I don’t feel the same way for guys that I do with girls my mind will always try to make me believe that I am gay. It’s like it’s forcing me into an identity I never asked for. But at the end of the day like my psychologist told me. Sexuality doesn’t change. So since I never felt anything for guys in my life it’s ocd. I’ve been up and down for 5 months now and while the last week I was feeling way better. Monday now and I’m back to zero. I just want to go back when everything was normal. I can’t keep living with this.

I really dont know if it is ocd anymore I dont want certain sexual things with my bf anymore that i used to like When i envision it with a girl it is so easy to envision and it feels like i want that , that will give me the satisfaction This feeling is making me really question if i am still into men , desire men sexually Is this still ocd , i really dont know anymore , as it is a feeling it is too real

When first triggered it was every male possible. I couldn’t even go shopping… it was all ages of male, all sizes, and the groinal response was non stop. Like always a feeling there. Then it calmed down but male voices… I couldn’t listen to the music I use to enjoy or movies I’ve always been interested in. Then it kinda dyed down to people who are good looking but I’ve never in my life been attracted to males and beards. I couldn’t even always say they are good looking but never had this fear, the head ache constantly pounding feelings before. Now it’s still good looking males but I’m noticing body shape now? What is this!? Soon as I see a male figure my body feeling like it goes into shock, preparing for the anxiety feeling of ‘false’ attraction. It makes me sweat, and nauseous. Is this OCD or after 32 years of loving woman now gone? I don’t really have attraction towards woman (brief moments but not how I use to be) and this makes me so depressed. I don’t want to live like this. The only thing stoping me is my children and wife.