- Date posted
- 6y ago
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I feel man
- Date posted
- 6y ago
You’re post is relatable
- Date posted
- 6y ago
You gotta hold on to the truth. The more get emotionally involved in the intrusion the more it’ll pop up
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Oh i did the same thing!! I found myself getting groinals over a SOUP CAN. while i do love me a good chowder, and some friends would joke i do feel that way about food i had a good laugh about it. I even tell myself "soup can" if i find myself getting too wrapped up Thank you, im trying my best ;;
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I once got a gronial response to a dog. I read somewhere that the groin responds to different things but we usually don’t notice it but because we have ocd we notice
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Ive talked to my boyfriend about it. Hes bisexual and his first response was "...uh. no? Ive known you 10 years and....no." hes also assured me he'll always be there for me no matter what comes out of it, which is great! Another two friends of mine basically snort laughed and said "oh god absolutely not. You? Seriously?" Which was awesome and i know they all love and care for me. I think the fear comes from the "you could have been this way all along and just not known! You missed all the signs!" But. There were ...no signs for me to miss. Its hard for me to talk to anyone else about it, because a lot of my friend circle is not very nice about men/finding men attractive. Others are very big on people discovering the "joys of being bisexual" but even they are like "nah youre pretty cut and dried exclusively gay." The bad thing is theres a lot of bad information out there. Including some people who say that lgbt people go through the "stages of grief" when discovering themselves. Maybe back in the 1970s but now everyone i know wasn't happy! Including myself. Ive just had a rocky past with regard to my relationships which unfortunately a lot of people will latch onto and say "well maybe theres a reason" which is only ever sometimes true, and is not a 100% fool proof reason. I also dont know if this is part of the ocd or not but I take other peoples experiences incredibly personally. Like. Oh no, this happened to this person, maybe thats me too! [Panic button smashed]
- Date posted
- 6y ago
It could be useful to teach both your boyfriend and those two other friends a little about reassurance if you haven’t already. As people who know you, their instinct is to give you clarity. From the way you describe it, it sounds like their insistence that you couldn’t possibly be straight is something you’ve held onto as a kind of reminder, but that it hasn’t quite done the trick in the way you hoped it would. I’d stay away from clinging to that response as a kind of proof. In fact, I’d ask them to deliberately fuck with you about it from time to time if you feel like you can take it. Encourage them to make jokes that spike you a little.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Also, it’s pretty fucking rad that you’ve opened up to people about it already. Ain’t nothing.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
*your
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I just hate how its telling me "oh youre choosing not to find this attractive. Try to!" And im like If i have to try im not attracted!!! And then scream forever
- Date posted
- 6y ago
While my OCD has since evolved, I did experience a nice two year period of quiet after 2 or 3 years of HOCD themed intrusive thoughts. Humor was key. The more I could laugh about it, the less scary it became. Embrace the uncertainty but make jokes to yourself about it. I once found myself checking out a car’s ass. My go to response: you must be gay! And then I was like, what the flying fuck, that’s not even a person! That’s a car. I was so much in OCD autopilot (and still waking up during my morning commute) that the logic was infiltrating every second of my life. Find ways to laugh, my friend. Sorry you’re struggling
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Have you been able to tell any of your friends about it? I know for me a big part of what I was struggling with was the fear of suddenly seeming a fraud, and that all of my past would be rendered a lie. It was having an especially damning effect on my male relationships. Picking a few people to talk to simultaneously enabled me to both confront my biggest fear and gain some much needed love and support. That said, you gotta be careful bc confession can become its own form of reassurance seeking. I have to imagine that as a gay man, the idea of losing that part of your identity, and thus the community that it connects you to, is terrifying as hell. Leaning into that fear by talking to the same people your OCD tells you that you would lose if they knew you were a fraud is super powerful.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
*everyone i know was happy, not wasnt. Oof autocorrect bad
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Yeah ive told my boyfriend not to reassure me but to encourage me to do what ive learned to do instead. Sometimes he just lets me get angry and flap around if i need to. I just try not to flip out too much since hes in the military and we dont get to talk much since hes on deployment atm
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w ago
Pocd feels real again and I can’t tell if I’m actually attracted or not. can’t believe it got this bad again. I used to be able to go “no I don’t like that, go away” and now it feels like I do like it and want it, and it’s starting to linger longer so it feels more real. I’m avoiding checking but I’m so scared that what if it’s true. Is it because I have not been doing my exposures? I’m not sure, but every time a 14 year old person comes to my head, I keep hearing something go “they’re attractive” and it sounds like me so I panic, and it makes me even more scared because I’m not feeling bad about it??? I saw some kid at Walmart that had long black hair and my brain kept saying shit and no matter how much I say I don’t feel that way, it won’t shut up, i want to check 1000 times to make sure. But I know it’s not worth it. I’m trying so hard
- Date posted
- 13w ago
Idk what else to title this. I was watching a film cooper video cuz why not and he mentioned smthn about wall paper customization and icons and stuff and I just kinda had a groinal response followed by the memory of me having my first crush on a woman (my friend at the time) that helped me figure out that I’m bi and I felt kinda intensely for her but that’s cuz a) it was new and b) we were kinda on again off again friends who haven’t spoken in a few years now and I’m over her entirely. It was toxic I think. She was too much like the person who bullied me in elementary school (they were friends as well so my mom made me cut her off which is. Fair. Made me really sad but eh that’s life) I saw her at prom cuz someone brought her. It was nice to see her but yeah that was it. And now I’m mentally comparing what I felt for women in the past (idk intense crush, listening to a lot of gay songs (think she by dodie) dressing semi masc cuz funky, we had nicknames for each other despite not dating or anything) to men (less intense crush but still big crush, I’ve only dated and kissed men so sparks rhere) and now I’m just slightly nauseous and worried that I don’t like men as much as I like women but I think that’s normal for any bi person? To have different levels of attraction to different genders? Idk I feel gross and icky now like I shouldn’t even be thinking about it or her cuz I have a bf. And I do look fondly upon it, now I’m nervous cuz I got more excited about her calling me a specific nickname than I do from my bf calling me honey even at the beginning? Honey felt more traditional and I love it but we do switch around nicknames and it’s always nice, not many butterflies anymore, and sometimes I get anxious when he does lately, if it’s a nickname in Portuguese. Or if he called me a shortened version of my name. What does that mean? I’m nervous now. I was doing half decently today now I’m nauseous again. I’m worried that cuz I liked the nicknames she and I had that means I don’t like the ones my bf and I have and that I just don’t like him or men cuz I’ve been feeling off around him. But I love when he calls me honey, it still feels good when he does it now but no butterflies. Idk what’s wrong with me. Is it even ocd at this point. Even if I do like women slightly more it doesn’t erase that I love my bf. I’m worried I’m leaning too much towards women tho and I’m a lesbian. Idk if my bi cycle is cycling or if I’m just a lesbian entirely cuz I don’t feel much when my bf takes off his shirt, sex feels different, and things feel stale and slow. But maybe that’s cuz I’m checking and comparing. Now I’m anxious fuck. I’m trying not to think about her idk why. I’m worried I still find her attractive or am attracted to her or smthn. She’s in my city. I didn’t care before but now I do. Or if I think about her I’ll think about other women and will only want to have sec with women which not really tbh. I wanna be able to enjoy sec with my bf. It just hasn’t felt right lately cuz I’ve been so depressed and obsessive. I wasn’t obsessing much last night when we had sex but it still didn’t feel passionate. It didn’t feel uncomfortable but I thought it’d be more? Idk. I know it’s normal to not feel him inside me cuz the vagina isn’t very nerved up compared to the clitoris but it felt like more the motions. But tbh. I needed it. Idk I wanted to have sex and it was a nice stress relief. I just didn’t feel butterflies which kinda bummed me out but we’ve been having sex since august so that’s normal. Idk. I haven’t been able to fantasize about sex. The fact that I’m bi makes all of this so confusing. Cuz yes hypothetically I can enjoy the thought of sex with a woman. But I don’t want to rn cuz I’m dating a man. And I can’t fantasize about sex with him cuz I’m getting intrusive thoughts about my friends and I having sex. I have this urge to watch porn cuz it’s been a while but I’m not going to. I’ve cut down a lot on masturbation. Partially cuz this partially cuz I wanna do things with my bf (when I’m mentally ok) but jow my brain is saying “Oo you think all these women are so hot you’re gonna go feral blah blah blah” and yes women are hot but I don’t wanna have sex with a woman. Idk saying women are hot doesn’t bring me anxiety but the thought of sex with one or leaving my bf and saying I’m a lesbian bother me. Cuz I know it’s not true. I love him I know that. I’d be happy if we stayed together. I wouldn’t regret a thing honestly. I like having sex with him. Idc if it’s not like porn or the movies. As long as I’m being pleasured and he’s being pleasured we’re good. That’s what sex is about. I think the loss of butterflies is normal cuz the excitement of like (sorry tmi) fingering and oral eventually wears off right? But still feels good. I don’t feel as excited about intimacy anymore cuz we have done it so often but it still feels nice. But my brain perceives that as me not liking sex with men and therefore I’m gay. No I just don’t feel the need to jump his bones every single time I see him?? Idk the friend thing is bothering me. Idk if I feel any joy behind it. The groinal response really really throws my perception off
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- Date posted
- 9w ago
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
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