- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I feel man
- Date posted
- 6y
You’re post is relatable
- Date posted
- 6y
You gotta hold on to the truth. The more get emotionally involved in the intrusion the more it’ll pop up
- Date posted
- 6y
Oh i did the same thing!! I found myself getting groinals over a SOUP CAN. while i do love me a good chowder, and some friends would joke i do feel that way about food i had a good laugh about it. I even tell myself "soup can" if i find myself getting too wrapped up Thank you, im trying my best ;;
- Date posted
- 6y
I once got a gronial response to a dog. I read somewhere that the groin responds to different things but we usually don’t notice it but because we have ocd we notice
- Date posted
- 6y
Ive talked to my boyfriend about it. Hes bisexual and his first response was "...uh. no? Ive known you 10 years and....no." hes also assured me he'll always be there for me no matter what comes out of it, which is great! Another two friends of mine basically snort laughed and said "oh god absolutely not. You? Seriously?" Which was awesome and i know they all love and care for me. I think the fear comes from the "you could have been this way all along and just not known! You missed all the signs!" But. There were ...no signs for me to miss. Its hard for me to talk to anyone else about it, because a lot of my friend circle is not very nice about men/finding men attractive. Others are very big on people discovering the "joys of being bisexual" but even they are like "nah youre pretty cut and dried exclusively gay." The bad thing is theres a lot of bad information out there. Including some people who say that lgbt people go through the "stages of grief" when discovering themselves. Maybe back in the 1970s but now everyone i know wasn't happy! Including myself. Ive just had a rocky past with regard to my relationships which unfortunately a lot of people will latch onto and say "well maybe theres a reason" which is only ever sometimes true, and is not a 100% fool proof reason. I also dont know if this is part of the ocd or not but I take other peoples experiences incredibly personally. Like. Oh no, this happened to this person, maybe thats me too! [Panic button smashed]
- Date posted
- 6y
It could be useful to teach both your boyfriend and those two other friends a little about reassurance if you haven’t already. As people who know you, their instinct is to give you clarity. From the way you describe it, it sounds like their insistence that you couldn’t possibly be straight is something you’ve held onto as a kind of reminder, but that it hasn’t quite done the trick in the way you hoped it would. I’d stay away from clinging to that response as a kind of proof. In fact, I’d ask them to deliberately fuck with you about it from time to time if you feel like you can take it. Encourage them to make jokes that spike you a little.
- Date posted
- 6y
Also, it’s pretty fucking rad that you’ve opened up to people about it already. Ain’t nothing.
- Date posted
- 6y
*your
- Date posted
- 6y
I just hate how its telling me "oh youre choosing not to find this attractive. Try to!" And im like If i have to try im not attracted!!! And then scream forever
- Date posted
- 6y
While my OCD has since evolved, I did experience a nice two year period of quiet after 2 or 3 years of HOCD themed intrusive thoughts. Humor was key. The more I could laugh about it, the less scary it became. Embrace the uncertainty but make jokes to yourself about it. I once found myself checking out a car’s ass. My go to response: you must be gay! And then I was like, what the flying fuck, that’s not even a person! That’s a car. I was so much in OCD autopilot (and still waking up during my morning commute) that the logic was infiltrating every second of my life. Find ways to laugh, my friend. Sorry you’re struggling
- Date posted
- 6y
Have you been able to tell any of your friends about it? I know for me a big part of what I was struggling with was the fear of suddenly seeming a fraud, and that all of my past would be rendered a lie. It was having an especially damning effect on my male relationships. Picking a few people to talk to simultaneously enabled me to both confront my biggest fear and gain some much needed love and support. That said, you gotta be careful bc confession can become its own form of reassurance seeking. I have to imagine that as a gay man, the idea of losing that part of your identity, and thus the community that it connects you to, is terrifying as hell. Leaning into that fear by talking to the same people your OCD tells you that you would lose if they knew you were a fraud is super powerful.
- Date posted
- 6y
*everyone i know was happy, not wasnt. Oof autocorrect bad
- Date posted
- 6y
Yeah ive told my boyfriend not to reassure me but to encourage me to do what ive learned to do instead. Sometimes he just lets me get angry and flap around if i need to. I just try not to flip out too much since hes in the military and we dont get to talk much since hes on deployment atm
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
I keep having this weird feeling none stop that it’s most likely not HOCD and most my feelings. Like I’ve suffered none stop distress and unwanted thoughts the past few days. But those thoughts after a bit just feel weird not the kind of discomfort but are just their and stale. When I look at a guy I don’t feel anything but my thoughts sometimes compliment his looks or personality which makes me doubt my sexuality. I’ve never felt this weirded out. Because I’ve always been straight and still believe I am but I’ve never even had an emotional connection to someone of the opposite gender in fact. My view of the female body has been ruined with none stop pornography addictions. I don’t believe I’m gay but I feel like it may just be denial instead of HOCD but all my symptoms are literally HOCD. I don’t hate the idea of gay people but I can’t imagine or see my heart going off to like someone of the same sex. I haven’t really had any meaningful real life friends besides online but that also ended a few months ago. My only friend ever online that was my friend for the longest of time was a queer but I never really cared about what he liked. Like yes at some point I did try to challenge him with his own feelings but that didn’t last long I just accepted what he liked and moved on. I’ve never even touched let alone held a long conversation with a female. I’ve always been timid and shy around them but I can just say that towards male as well. The gay feelings feel so real. The thoughts feel a bit natural to me but I don’t want this. But I hate how I can’t just move on and be myself and love women when those thoughts demand attention and an answer. It won’t quit it. If I try to do a compulsion it calms down but it quickly becomes a problem again. I’m lonely I don’t have any friends or past relationships I can even think of helping me with the emotions. I still believe I’m straight and I just can’t see myself with a guy. It just doesn’t feel right for me despite my lack of experiences. I just wanna go back to how I was happy and loving girls and not having to question if it was a real feeling or just my natural timid nature. Everytime I think these distressing thoughts I always just wanna sit down and close my eyes and sleep. Because that’s where I can have peace of self. It sucks but I’m so exhausted of having to deal with emotional distress and I can’t even focus on my job as much. I want to meet new people discover my love for women again but I’m scared in the process I may discover I may be gay. Because deep down I know I wouldn’t ever be happy with myself if my greatest fears where confirmed. My dream of always being a father with a loving women and kids would be torn away by something I never asked for. Yes I’m religious, yes I come from a place that homosexuals are usually seen in a bad light. I just hate feeling this emotion that I may not be what I thought and having my dreams torn apart maybe true. I’ve read MUTIPLE articles about HOCD and seen MUTIPLE videos. I’ve come to the realization that I most likely have it. But it’s still hard when the feelings of maybe being gay maybe true you know? I hope I get better I hope I don’t suffer. I just wanna be happy with myself and loving females and I don’t wanna hate myself for feeling an emotion that never occurred to me more then a few times.
- Date posted
- 20w
I’ve completely lost myself. I can’t focus on my studies, I can’t go to the gym. Dang it I can’t even be around my male friends normally anymore. I got no idea why or how this happened but the only thing I know for sure is that I never questioned my sexuality neither doubted it. I never cared in general. I just liked girls. I keep testing and keep testing and keep testing my arousal but no matter how many times I see but I don’t feel the same way for guys that I do with girls my mind will always try to make me believe that I am gay. It’s like it’s forcing me into an identity I never asked for. But at the end of the day like my psychologist told me. Sexuality doesn’t change. So since I never felt anything for guys in my life it’s ocd. I’ve been up and down for 5 months now and while the last week I was feeling way better. Monday now and I’m back to zero. I just want to go back when everything was normal. I can’t keep living with this.
- Date posted
- 19w
Like I can’t think straight. This is making me doubt everything I’ve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I don’t. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go “oh so you like it you must be gay” or the other one where I’m not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that I’ve had my whole life and my mind goes “see now you’re not into them you’re gay” like it’s so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or “a thing of the past”. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and it’s so weird. Today I’ve spent my whole day thinking about it like I’ve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just won’t let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond