- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I feel man
- Date posted
- 6y
You’re post is relatable
- Date posted
- 6y
You gotta hold on to the truth. The more get emotionally involved in the intrusion the more it’ll pop up
- Date posted
- 6y
Oh i did the same thing!! I found myself getting groinals over a SOUP CAN. while i do love me a good chowder, and some friends would joke i do feel that way about food i had a good laugh about it. I even tell myself "soup can" if i find myself getting too wrapped up Thank you, im trying my best ;;
- Date posted
- 6y
I once got a gronial response to a dog. I read somewhere that the groin responds to different things but we usually don’t notice it but because we have ocd we notice
- Date posted
- 6y
Ive talked to my boyfriend about it. Hes bisexual and his first response was "...uh. no? Ive known you 10 years and....no." hes also assured me he'll always be there for me no matter what comes out of it, which is great! Another two friends of mine basically snort laughed and said "oh god absolutely not. You? Seriously?" Which was awesome and i know they all love and care for me. I think the fear comes from the "you could have been this way all along and just not known! You missed all the signs!" But. There were ...no signs for me to miss. Its hard for me to talk to anyone else about it, because a lot of my friend circle is not very nice about men/finding men attractive. Others are very big on people discovering the "joys of being bisexual" but even they are like "nah youre pretty cut and dried exclusively gay." The bad thing is theres a lot of bad information out there. Including some people who say that lgbt people go through the "stages of grief" when discovering themselves. Maybe back in the 1970s but now everyone i know wasn't happy! Including myself. Ive just had a rocky past with regard to my relationships which unfortunately a lot of people will latch onto and say "well maybe theres a reason" which is only ever sometimes true, and is not a 100% fool proof reason. I also dont know if this is part of the ocd or not but I take other peoples experiences incredibly personally. Like. Oh no, this happened to this person, maybe thats me too! [Panic button smashed]
- Date posted
- 6y
It could be useful to teach both your boyfriend and those two other friends a little about reassurance if you haven’t already. As people who know you, their instinct is to give you clarity. From the way you describe it, it sounds like their insistence that you couldn’t possibly be straight is something you’ve held onto as a kind of reminder, but that it hasn’t quite done the trick in the way you hoped it would. I’d stay away from clinging to that response as a kind of proof. In fact, I’d ask them to deliberately fuck with you about it from time to time if you feel like you can take it. Encourage them to make jokes that spike you a little.
- Date posted
- 6y
Also, it’s pretty fucking rad that you’ve opened up to people about it already. Ain’t nothing.
- Date posted
- 6y
*your
- Date posted
- 6y
I just hate how its telling me "oh youre choosing not to find this attractive. Try to!" And im like If i have to try im not attracted!!! And then scream forever
- Date posted
- 6y
While my OCD has since evolved, I did experience a nice two year period of quiet after 2 or 3 years of HOCD themed intrusive thoughts. Humor was key. The more I could laugh about it, the less scary it became. Embrace the uncertainty but make jokes to yourself about it. I once found myself checking out a car’s ass. My go to response: you must be gay! And then I was like, what the flying fuck, that’s not even a person! That’s a car. I was so much in OCD autopilot (and still waking up during my morning commute) that the logic was infiltrating every second of my life. Find ways to laugh, my friend. Sorry you’re struggling
- Date posted
- 6y
Have you been able to tell any of your friends about it? I know for me a big part of what I was struggling with was the fear of suddenly seeming a fraud, and that all of my past would be rendered a lie. It was having an especially damning effect on my male relationships. Picking a few people to talk to simultaneously enabled me to both confront my biggest fear and gain some much needed love and support. That said, you gotta be careful bc confession can become its own form of reassurance seeking. I have to imagine that as a gay man, the idea of losing that part of your identity, and thus the community that it connects you to, is terrifying as hell. Leaning into that fear by talking to the same people your OCD tells you that you would lose if they knew you were a fraud is super powerful.
- Date posted
- 6y
*everyone i know was happy, not wasnt. Oof autocorrect bad
- Date posted
- 6y
Yeah ive told my boyfriend not to reassure me but to encourage me to do what ive learned to do instead. Sometimes he just lets me get angry and flap around if i need to. I just try not to flip out too much since hes in the military and we dont get to talk much since hes on deployment atm
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I’ve tried accepting the uncertainty, I’ve accepted I may be gay, bi or still straight. I’ve tried doing ERP myself to the best I can. When I accept that I’m gay or bi why doesn’t my head agree and move on? Why does it still question it? I know I don’t want to be at all. I love my family. But I just want this to move on. I want to enjoy life. Why can’t I find women attractive again? (Brief moments I do). I seriously don’t understand the false attraction? I’ve tried agreeing with it but it won’t let this drop. Why am I attracted to the same sex? Why am I attracted to people I would never thought of looking at? Why does it give me such grief about this? I know I shouldn’t look at adult content but why can I only feel good watching either lesbian or females? I tried to agree with the gay but it makes me sick and horrendous I even considered this? I just want my life back.
- Date posted
- 20w
So my OCD has been bad lately. I’ve been ruminating and obsessing over my sexuality again. And it just keeps getting worse. I hate it so much. I try to sit with the discomfort but then my ocd does the backdoor spike. And the groinal response is what keeps me looped. It SUCKS. I am not attracted to men, but my OCD is trying SO hard to convince me that I am. There have been days where I’m just so mentally exhausted that I “accept” what my ocd tells me and I just walk around a hollow, lethargic shell. But then I rethink it and I feel better. It feels like I can only find my TRUE self when I tire my nervous system out enough that it literally breaks down and has me suicidal and hopeless. And then accepting my OCD’s “truth” (that I’m attracted to men) feels like a burden and a chore. I woke up today from an OCD dream, tried to go back to sleep, and my stomach kept cramping bc I was so anxious and ruminating over my intrusive thoughts. I’m starting to doubt it being OCD anymore. My brain is too tired to fight and cry about it anymore.
- Date posted
- 18w
I’ve recovered from HOCD before and got my attraction and my usual actual identity back. I was recovered from end 2022- start 2025 until I got triggered UGHHH😭 My HOCD is REALLY trying to convince me and it’s SO annoying cause I genuinely don’t want these thoughts. I know I naturally like men and always have done so. I can’t wait for my first therapy session in two days Omg! I need your advice, not necessarily reassurance, but more advice? My HOCD is throwing random “proof” I did/ saw as a child in my face, which back then had no meaning in my life and I continued to live a perfectly heterosexual life. I’ve educated myself about arousal non concordance / child’s play, but it still doesn’t remove the HOCD. I’ve read therapists great explanations on how it’s not a sexuality issue, BUT ITS AN OCD BRAIN ISSUE. So basically I’ve been straight and i will die as straight. But my ocd is still continuing with the intrusive thoughts/flashbacks. I’ve had some moments where I haven’t done as many compulsions and had less anxiety but still had those damn thoughts and I DO NOT want those damn thoughts. I have so much proof and factual/logical explanations but HOCD is still continuing to thrive. I absolutely hate this and I feel so alone. I wish there was a reset button cause I don’t want these thoughts to happen. I want a man and I stand by that. How do y’all deal with these situations? Cause sitting with the thoughts is clearly not helping.
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