I will try my best to help you. When you have those unwanted thought, never reply them, it might sound crazy but this is your cure. Those positive sentences or words that I used, and you do, only hurt. They make you feel less anxious for the moment but then return later stronger and stronger, which is bad and won't end. When those thoughts pop up ignore them, don't say your word, you will feel anxious but it will go down on its own throughout the process called habituation. Also, though have no power, cannot change the future neither the past, having those thoughts won't make you act on them! It might feel like they will happen but they won't! Ignore those random thoughts because there is no reason you should listen to them, it is like some stranger whispering you those thoughts, will you believe them? No! Then leave them talk as much as they want without you reacting on them, replying. Do what you enjoy the most while it happens as you feel the anxiety spiking up, but you shall not fear it, you will be alright!
Thank you, this makes sense and helps a lot
@corpse dance It really does! We are struggling against illogical things, we don't need to argue with them or to try and make it logical, just accept and acknowledge they are here, they won't harm and will leave on their own!