just need to vent. people are weird and they ask backhanded questions. i sit with my friends at a table in a class. some kid at my table asked me if i liked "boys in dresses" and i panicked and said yes sarcastically. but i don't think my friends caught onto my sarcasm. mind you - i'm gay & not out of the closet. i have ocd but i also obsess about social situations and it's not exactly the best thing for my mental health. i'm just worried that they're going to spread rumors about me "liking boys in dresses" saying yes to that question. i also think it'll warp their view of me. i wish i would've clarified but i just panicked and sat there and couldn't wait for a subject change. ironically i don't actually find boys in dresses attractive... but it's whatever. i suck at handling social situations and i wish i would've handled the problem better. i just feel like i gave a dead giveaway and now everyone thinks i'm gay. it sucks because that's a self declaration i want to have for myself - not by other people. being outed to the whole school doesn't sound like a fun thing. my ocd keeps replaying the event over and over and trying to get me to fix it. but the moment's passed. and i hate myself for it. i'm planning on coming out soon ish anyways. it just sucks that i let it slip that easily.

I have been really battling with my SO OCD, and I’ve recently started to have a ton of wins!!! I’m really excited about it, but as I’ve noticed myself not engaging as much… different things have popped up. Now im obsessed with people’s perception on me, and them looking at me and thinking by how I walk, how I talk, what I wear, how I move… that I am gay? And am so convinced everyone thinks that and “knows something that I don’t”. Is that typical with OCD? If so, any ERP advice on how to overcome these thoughts?

Ive vented a lot to a lot of people in the PM's about my OCD... some of them younger (minors)... because I wanted reassurance from everyone and anyone... but this situation triggers me the most because I was venting about my 18+ HOCD situations... In an HOCD support group I was in, I vented to 2 minors about my 18+ HOCD situations... The leader of the support group (that i vented to) was 17... I was 19 at the time... the other minor i vented to was younger (14-15)... the younger one told me she was uncomfortable when i vented to her in the PM's twice... i stopped and blocked her after she told me the second time... i kept asking the leader of the support group for reassurance for my 18+ HOCD situations for months because she kept giving me reassurance... i thought she was cute but didnt pursue her because of my age... i dont ever want to ever be a P or a MAP or a groomer in any way... I keep getting this gut feeling in my stomach that i "flirted" with the younger one that I vented to, who i blocked after she told me twice she was uncomfortable about me venting about my 18+ hocd situations... i didnt ever vent to them for malicious intent... I was trying to get reassurance for my hocd... Plus my pocd keeps saying I cant have any opinions online because of my pocd and real events ocd situations and that Im not a good person so I cant say anything online... Also i keep getting intrusive thoughts of people labelling me as a P and a MAP in the future because of these pocd real events... And i keep getting intrusive thoughts of being outcasted and "cancelled" online when someone "exposes" me for my POCD and real events OCD...

Need some advice please. I'm trying to fix my social anxiety, self esteem and confidence but ocd infests itself and makes me I had all these issues because I my ocd was true all along. For example, Im extremely uptight/awkward around people and have a fear of being judged, laughed at or seen through, fear of not being liked etc. One cause of this I read is it's because i suppressed my real self/feelings and pretended to put on a fake mask to be liked by others/fit in and now that im older that mask is breaking and causing me disconnect from my real self. My hocd inserts itself and makes me feel because I was gay all along without knowing it is why it happened. It genuinely feels like that's the case but then I feel dreaded and depressed because it feels so real I'm ready to accept that scenario. But back then I didnt think I could have been gay or anything. Im not sure how to handle this difficulty. Please any advice?