Sorry for posting so much. My world has been flipped upside down. Ive completely changed or realized or whatever. No attraction to women and constant arousal to gay thoughts and an urge to to stuff. Its ridiculous. And I dont even know If I hate these thoughts or not, or want them to go away or not. I hope I end it all soon, Im so mentally and physically gone. Ending it is the only thing that will free me from my worries.