I have a question. When I was younger (like, maybe 10, 11, 12) I remember one night looking at a video of lesbians kissing (I mean y’all I spelled it lezbian that’s how young I was) i remember having a groinal response. I’m pretty sure that that day in school, someone mentioned gay and lesbian people and I had no clue what that was. So I think that’s why I looked it up. I never watched it again after that night, had never had any sexual questioning, and knew I was heterosexual. I was in LOVE with so many fictional male characters and have been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend for almost 6 years next month. Fast forward to now, I am suffering with HOCD. And my mind is telling me that me watching that video forever ago was actually me being a lesbian and I just didn’t realize it. Does anyone know the correlation between these two things? Not really reassurance seeking, mostly seeking information because I genuinely do not know if watching lesbians making out once as a kid means I was a lesbian, just didn’t know it. Thanks.

^I feel like this is actually so much more normal than ppl think. And I feel like that has a lot to do with the porn industry itself..most of it is geared towards cis het men--so tbh I feel like watching lesbian porn is more enjoyable since it's more realistic. But I don't think that means anything past that. But I understand it's the uncertainty that's hardest to deal with, but it is necessary.

@Nat <3 *accept

I've also hears that watching lesbian porn is very common among straight women which is why I worry now that I am not straight because I never was into lesbian porn 🤦‍♀️ but I get triggered a lot from my past as well, I admired a lot of female celebrities or older women/girls in my environment, I wanted to be like them and for them to like me. I also wrote in my diary when I was 12 that I wasn't sure if I liked boys or girls which today makes me feel devastated as it feels like literal proof that I must have always been gay ...

@girlwithocd.. Hi 🙂 I don’t want to disturb you, but I think we have similar experiences. Could we talk? I am struggling with so-ocd so much and I have nobody to talk about it 😞