- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I don't get them as much as I used to anymore I feel like I've managed to fulfill every type of theme of OCD at some point in my life right now it's suicide and self harm Pedophilic intrusive thoughts are the ones that hurt the most in my opinion I have sexual trauma so it's like a knife in my chest every time I think something like that I can't stand here kids screaming or crying or yelling Comedy has helped me a lot making people laugh and smile give gives me a bit of hope
- Date posted
- 4y
Might I ask a question about these intrusive thoughts, you donβt have to answer it, I do not want to trigger something for you but itβs so hard to talk about it to people that havenβt delt with intrusive thoughts directly. Did you ever have sexual intrusive thoughts about yourself being in a sexual situation with a child and your body kind of imagining it... this is so hard to type because itβs so scary I would never hurt a child but Iβm so scared that what my mind is imagining means something
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
This is OCD. Your mind will give you scenarios and create stories to check if you are or you are not. Thatβs the only reason you are seeing these imaginations. You are trying to make sure you wonβt get aroused or enjoy it. So your mind keeps replaying and looking for some possible problem. Accept these images. Say to yourself you might be. You might not be. You will continue to live your life with images and these unpleasant thoughts. When you accept this, the brain willl not need to scan and create scenarios
- Date posted
- 4y
@Sasha Thank you for responding, I can handle most intrusive thoughts but itβs so hard to ignore the really disturbing ones with children, it can get really scary sometimes
- Date posted
- 4y
I would've message you sooner I didn't see the notification It's like having internal "coprolalia" I don't know if this makes any sense but my cognitive creativity is a 2 out of 10 Sometimes it sparks up to 6 Sometimes I do end up imagining things like that I sometimes become really Irrational after it and I start to hurt myself I don't know if you're a boy or a girl but I sometimes get erections out of nowhere I could literally be crying my eyes out be absolutely depressed and I get an erection "I'll tell myself what the fuck is wrong with me" I have this habit of cracking my neck when I get a bad interest of thought Sometimes it's hard to being class (It's an adult school) I get really embarrassed I'm just sitting there trying to do my work and in my head I'm saying don't think about inappropriate things Sometimes the thoughts jump out at me so much that it I crack my To the point where hurts So I kind of got the habit of just putting my head down in class I sometimes get nervous that I might won't I might have a muscle spasm or something and accidentally hit the person sitting right next to me so I end up sitting on my hands So I'm sitting on my hands with my face to the desk just a normal human But really I don't want to hurt anybody I just want to be a good person
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous I get these intrusive thoughts every 15 seconds
- Date posted
- 4y
@ππ πΆππ½π You can download a click counter on your phone I've learned to write down some of the thoughts and save them for my therapist
- Date posted
- 4y
@ππ πΆππ½π Thx for responding, I never thought about how someoneβs level of cognitive creativity could affect intrusive thoughts, I have a very vivid imagination so it makes sense why Iβve been experiencing these intrusive thoughts on steroids
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous If it's OK with me asking are you a boy or a girl
- Date posted
- 4y
@ππ πΆππ½π I am a girl
- Date posted
- 4y
When I have these intrusive thoughts even about people my own age It's not arousing me and I'm not enjoying it the pedophilic intrusive thoughts have slowly become less bless aggressive I'm not sure how often you are around children but for me it's not that often When I get intrusive thoughts like that I try everything in my power to shut it out I've gotten to the point where the inside of my mouth is bleeding Sometimes I even tend to cross my legs and being a boy this can sometimes be painful In the hopes to prevent myself of having an erection add an inappropriate time or place all though I know that it's an involuntary action I try my hardest not to let it happen because I end up shaming myself for it and when I shame myself for something I tend to get physical and hurt myself The only way I can interpret it is it's my body's way it's way of trying to to relieve stress Having an erection in the worst possible moment can sometimes destroy and devalue yourself I don't watch porn and I don't even masturbate I don't drink I don't smoke I don't do drugs or anything I try to be as modest as possible but I have a bad habit of cussing a lot
- Date posted
- 4y
Less aggressive**
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
ππππ£πͺ ππππππππ₯ πππππππ βππΌπΈππΌ π»πβ'π βπΌπΈπ» ππ½ πΌπΈππππ π»ππππβπΉπΌπ» πΉπ πβπΌππΌπ πππβ πππ»π hi everyone, I am really struggling with something disturbing and I'm so afraid I'm a PDF. So my sis came to visit with my nephew for the first time. So the other day we were taking pics with the baby I was already feeling kinda nervous cuz I never held a baby before. Anyway it was my turn and I like I wonder if this would sexually stimulate him( not exactly the thought but the of thought was more graphic and I don't wanna disturb anyone). And I can't remember if I thought that while I was bumping him on my stomach (like how people bump babies on their hips) or before I started doing so. Anyways I can't really remember what my reaction to that thought was or if I started bumping him before or after I had that thought... So I tried not to think much of it but over time I started to spiral really bad and wonder why I thought that and why then I would bump him on my stomach after having that thought or during. I just feel so disgusted. Like was I curious about it? Did I disregard the thought because my brain thinks disturbing things? Ik right now away from that situation that ofc I have no sexual interest in my nephew at all. I played with him and helped changed diaper and everything and never had the urge to do anything inappropriate to him besides that one weird instance. So like I'm so disturbed like did that mean something? I have P OCD but that didn't really feel like an intrusive thought? I also can be very impulsive, and if it was impulsive does that mean I had a desire? Now I'm terrified of having kids even though I wanted some or to foster some. I mean I know but myself I'm not sexually attracted to kids but then why would I think that I am so disturbed really and feel so sick. ππππ I don't know what to do I'm so scared about what my motivation was I feel so bad and scaredππππ
- Date posted
- 19w
I keep getting thoughts of this 6 year old kid n I donβt know what to do, they keep coming and they give me a sense of attraction, I donβt wanna be attracted to kids, it feels too real as well, I feel a need to check if I was attracted or not constantly, and it genuinely feels like attraction, please help me I donβt wanna be a pedo. Whenever I try to think abt something romantic or about someone my age Iβm actually into, that kid keeps popping up.
- Date posted
- 18w
TW So I havenβt been diagnosed with pocd, but many ppl said that I have it. I was in bed when I remembered this time when I first started experiencing what I hope is false attraction not actual pedophilia, Iβm looking back on it rn n Iβm worried it wasnβt false attraction, I remember feeling a sense of attraction when I saw that kid, I was about14 at the time and the kid was 11 or 12. I remember constantly searching to see if it was normal for a 14 year old to like a 12 or 11 year old, I was worried when I was doing that i think, I also kept walking pass her to look at her i think to check if i was attracted or not, but it makes me worried that I was attracted to her because im worried that i did it bc i was actually attracted. now looking back on it rn, I donβt feel panic, worry, shame, or guilt, I originally only felt panic and worry, never shame or guilt. Now I donβt feel any of it, not feeling panic and worry now makes me think that I am a p, I donβt want to be a p. I hope im not a p, Ive talked to a therapist and theyβve said that itβs pocd, but it wasnβt a official diagnosis, Iβm worried it was a false diagnosis because I lied on one or two of the questions. I also constantly get senses of what I hope is false attraction when I see some kids, and I keep trying to figure out if it is real or false attraction. Also some other time today I was feeling aroused and I wanted to m#sturbate, but then thoughts of kids started popping up, I think that I didnβt like them, Iβm not sure any more, but while I was finishing the thoughts kept comigg by, idk what it means but it felt like I enjoyed it, which made me worried, but after I finished the thoughts disappeared a lot more, idk why that happened idk what it means, could someone give me some advice pls?? I donβt wanna be a pedo. All of that happening makes me feel like I am one, can someone give me advice on whatβs happening and what I am??
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