Being out in public places isnt helping. I see all these couples holding hands and stuff and I just dont feel It, I dont feel like having a Gf, or even wanting to talk to women nor can I imagine having a gf. Im not feeling anything!!! I never talked to or hung out with females before ocd so I dont know If I wouldve thought this back then too or if this is a product of Hocd. Im sure I wouldve liked talking to women back then but know dont anything. Smh :(

I really dont know if it is ocd anymore I dont want certain sexual things with my bf anymore that i used to like When i envision it with a girl it is so easy to envision and it feels like i want that , that will give me the satisfaction This feeling is making me really question if i am still into men , desire men sexually Is this still ocd , i really dont know anymore , as it is a feeling it is too real

When first triggered it was every male possible. I couldn’t even go shopping… it was all ages of male, all sizes, and the groinal response was non stop. Like always a feeling there. Then it calmed down but male voices… I couldn’t listen to the music I use to enjoy or movies I’ve always been interested in. Then it kinda dyed down to people who are good looking but I’ve never in my life been attracted to males and beards. I couldn’t even always say they are good looking but never had this fear, the head ache constantly pounding feelings before. Now it’s still good looking males but I’m noticing body shape now? What is this!? Soon as I see a male figure my body feeling like it goes into shock, preparing for the anxiety feeling of ‘false’ attraction. It makes me sweat, and nauseous. Is this OCD or after 32 years of loving woman now gone? I don’t really have attraction towards woman (brief moments but not how I use to be) and this makes me so depressed. I don’t want to live like this. The only thing stoping me is my children and wife.

I feel different from others, I don’t feel as feminine and I feel like I’ve changed. I’m not sure why I feel this way. I also don’t think my ocd is ocd, it’s just something I told myself to feel better. I know! What if I am what if I’m not, I get it, but I don’t feel like i have a choice in the matter anymore. I have soocd and it’s eaten me alive for years. I woke up out of my sleep and got triggered and here I am. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I always wanted a boyfriend and now It seemed to change. I don’t want a girlfriend, it’s just that I don’t see anything for myself and I feel like I’m hiding. It’s hard to explain. Plus sometimes the way I move or speak makes me feel more masculine and it kills me. Im feeling so lost and alone right now. I know what I want deep down but I feel incapable of having those things because I won’t be able to have feeling. If that makes sense.