Dre83
- Date posted
- 4y
Lms526Lms526
- Date posted
- 4y
I have intrusive thoughts about stabbing my parents. Its so scary. I am terrified to touch a large, sharp knife. I feel like a horrible person for having thoughts like this. I start ERP training today.
Dre83Dre83
- Date posted
- 4y
I’m not as afraid of knives as I once was. I’m just afraid of the thoughts now more than anything at times. Some days are better than others but this morning has been rough. My ocd likes to target that my wife has done and gives me intrusive thoughts about harming her because of what she did. I don’t get it at all because I have no desire to do these things!
[Deleted][Deleted]
- Date posted
- 4y
Comment deleted by user
Lms526Lms526
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you for sharing this! SSRI's typically don't work for me long term. They work great for a couple months, but then they crap out on me. Even upping the dose doesn't help. My doctor suggested taking a B complex vitamin every day for my depression. I definitely notice a difference when I don't take it. I also take vitamin D which has really helped as well. I've read through that its best not to take any type of medication or supplement when doing ERP. So you feel the full effect of the anxiety.
Lms526Lms526
- Date posted
- 4y
Just remember...they are just thoughts. They do NOT reflect desires or your character. OCD thoughts are lies, even though they feel real.
Dre83Dre83
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you. This is the worst thing ever that’s for sure.
kevin279kevin279
- Date posted
- 4y
Why would you re-asure the man I know you mean good but this is not the way.
Dre83Dre83
- Date posted
- 4y
@kevin279 My ocd specialist has told me thoughts are just thoughts as well.
Lms526Lms526
- Date posted
- 4y
@kevin279 I'm not reassuring jim of anything. I'm just sharing my experience. Theres a difference.
kevin279kevin279
- Date posted
- 4y
@Dre83 Listen I've been in your shoes, I overcame Harm ocd. And let me tell you no explanation or reassurance will help you. You need to do the exposure and response prevention it's the only way to convince yourself that you wouldn't do it. My friend I know it feels like jumping out of a plane not knowing if you have on the parachute, but you need to be willing to take the risk. I promise that the thoughts will not go away but I also promise that you will laugh at them when you overcome this they will no longer bother you and you'll just be like yeah ok because you know they're just stupid thoughts, but don't take my word for it....expose yourself.
Lms526Lms526
- Date posted
- 4y
@kevin279 That is very true. I start ERP today.
Dre83Dre83
- Date posted
- 4y
@kevin279 So by overcoming you are saying the thoughts don’t go away correct? Do you still do erp every day or just when you’re having an off day?
tascher1tascher1
- Date posted
- 4y
@kevin279 My problem is that I know exposure is what needs to be done, but then I get false memories or doubts about the exposure and it makes me feel like I've put people in danger, when I know I haven't, but there still is that Doubt and I start obsessing about the exposure. Does that make sense?
Dre83Dre83
- Date posted
- 4y
@tascher1 Yeah that does and I’m sorry
kevin279kevin279
- Date posted
- 4y
@tascher1 I had it worse, I won't go into details about my experiance with hocd so I don't trigger anybody. But I can assure you the more you do your compulsions the more crazier the thoughts become and the more you start to believe them. The treatment is the same all across the board, no matter what the thought is, but there's a difference between being exposed and doing and exposure. You need to make sure you're doing it correctly in order for it to work.
kevin279kevin279
- Date posted
- 4y
@Dre83 Yes I'm currently doing Erp but not for hocd I'm dealing with Rocd at the moment and this is really hard for me right now. But I'm sure you're asking about hocd and as far as that goes no I am not because I don't need it anymore. Do the harm thoughts disappear? The answer is no because I'm human and everybody on this planet has loony wacky harm thoughts. But I can assure it gets better each time you do ERP because you realize you didn't do anything the thoughts were there and yet you didn't do it. And as you continue to do ERP you realize ah man these thoughts are stupid.
Dre83Dre83
- Date posted
- 4y
@kevin279 Thanks bro I appreciate it! Glad you overcame hocd and I hope you overcome rocd!
kevin279kevin279
- Date posted
- 4y
@Dre83 Likewise my friend keep your chin up, I know it Will push you to your limits but if you keep going I promise there's light at the end of the tunnel.
kevin279kevin279
- Date posted
- 4y
There's this test my doctor had me take a long time ago it was called a neurotransmitters test and it measured the amount of serotonin and other chemicals you have in your brain. Anyways I don't know how accurate this test is but he prescribed natural vitamins to help with my "chemical imbalance" these vitamins are pretty strong, some people combine them with their ssri's and aperantly it helps. now I don't know if that is safe to do or not you should ask your doctors but I took the vitamins without medication and it really helps take the edge off. I decided to go this route because I didn't want to go with the antidepressants, the vitamins were a cocktail or like 8. I don't remember all of them but the main ones that helped were GABA, 5htp, & SAMe. With SAMe being the most important one. They're basically a natural antidepressant, and they bring your anxiety down. Now it takes a few weeks for your body to start feeling the difference this isn't a pill. Keep in mind this is not a solution but it can help you do your ERP. Remember I'm not a doctor I'm an ocd sufferer just like everyone here this is just a suggestion from experiance.
Dre83Dre83
- Date posted
- 4y
Did your general practitioner do this or you psychiatrist?
kevin279kevin279
- Date posted
- 4y
General practitioner he was my family doctor.
Lms526Lms526
- Date posted
- 4y
My regular doctor. I stopped going to the psychiatrist. She was very rude and condescending. She also wanted to put me on Zoloft, which is very similar to Paxil. My pharmacist warned me about the Zolift when I went to fill the prescription. Paxil made me very suicidal. So he warned me to be very careful with the Zoloft. I told the psychiatrist I wouldn't take it. She got mad at me. I went one time and never went back.
Dre83Dre83
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah I don’t like those medications none of them I don’t trust them lol
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- Date posted
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Sunshinemomma17
- Date posted
- 17w
I acted on my intrusive thought in a half-asleep state and I don’t know how to live with the guilt
Hi everyone, This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to write. I’ve struggled with POCD for a while — intrusive thoughts that go against everything I believe in. I’ve never acted on them before. I’ve always been terrified of them and done everything to avoid them. But something happened the other night that I can’t stop replaying, and it’s tearing me apart. I was in that in-between state — not fully asleep, not fully awake. I was dreaming that something was “okay,” and in that moment, I moved my child’s hand toward me in a way I now feel completely ashamed of. I wasn’t aware of fully choosing it, but I remember it. I remember that it felt like I was following the dream, like my brain said it was okay. And the part I can’t stop obsessing over — that’s destroying me — is that in the dream, my child said, “no.” That moment makes me feel like the worst human being on the planet. I don’t know if he said it out loud or if it was part of the dream. But it felt real, and now I feel broken. I love my child more than anything. The fact that this happened — even in a foggy, dreamlike state — makes me feel like I crossed an unforgivable line. I’m not here to excuse it. I’m not here to get reassurance that it didn’t happen. I’m just trying to find someone — anyone — who has experienced something like this. Acting or moving in a way during sleep or semi-consciousness that your waking self would never do. I don’t know how to live with this guilt. I feel sick, ashamed, and like I’ve ruined everything. Please be kind. I’ve never felt more alone in my life, and I don’t know how to move forward from this.
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