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I had to practice distress tolerance and let my partner go to his vacation home last week while I stayed home. Normal ocd me would have gone with him, completely dismissing the fact that I’m currently in outpatient. I had a COMPLETE meltdown over the weekend to the point that I had a depersonalization episode. I was a hair away from going to the ER for the anxiety but I just waited it out. My OCD tells me “stay in his spotlight, because if not he’ll wander… what if he realizes I’m too much? What if he realizes we aren’t compatible? What if what if? It was a nightmare. HOWEVER. #1 I stayed safe #2 I talked to myself kindly even through the tears #3 I survived. It’s been about 5 days and I still haven’t seen him, and my throat still is a bit closed but we have to learn to be bigger than our OCD.

I feel this. I'm with the most wonderful partner. He's my world. I'd be devastated if I lost him. OCD sucks.

I relate to this so much. All of my triggers are around loosing my partner or being rejected by him in some way. I’m currently trying to build up radical self love and self acceptance. I’m trying to give myself the love I am looking for everywhere else

i feel you 100%

I feel you. I feel like ocd latched onto this because he’s what I care about most. Just remember that you, not your ocd, are in charge of your life. And if you want him, you deserve to be with him.