- Username
- Imaan7
- Date posted
- 3y ago
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- Username
- cheyrascheyras
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I don’t think you need to accept that you’re gay, you need to accept the uncertainty. Like “guess there’s no way for me to know 100% whether I’m gay or not.” Trying to just admit to yourself that you’re gay could just be a compulsion in the opposite direction because either way it’s an attempt to gain certainty.
- Username
- random_personrandom_person
- Date posted
- 3y ago
That makes so much sense
- Username
- Imaan7Imaan7
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I wish It was that simple, how do you accept uncertainty when all I feel is certainty that Im gay? Even as I type this, I feel certain. Ive fully convinced myself for months that my old self wasnt my true self, so I cant put any faith In that either.
- Username
- cheyrascheyras
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Imaan7 Your goal is not to put your faith in any one answer. In fact that’s the problem with OCD. By trying to prove you’re not gay, you’re seeking certainty. By trying to accept 100% that you’re gay, you’re seeking certainty. You’re not feeling certain you’re gay, if so you’d be at peace with it. But you’re here posting so that’s not the case. So sit with the negative emotions and quit trying to solve them by gaining certainty. It is easier said than done. I realize that fully. But you got this.
- Username
- alexisrae1999alexisrae1999
- Date posted
- 3y ago
"Coming out" is a compulsion and a cry for certainty even if it's not the outcome you want! Sometimes the anxiety and everything is so bad and you just want it to stop, so you think that's the answer. But the answer is really just trying your best to move forward and take the pressure off of you. You have so-ocd. Deep down you probably know what you desire. Unfortunately without proper treatment, your ocd will never accept any conclusion that you come down to. You can have as many "epiphanies" or "realizations" as ya want, but that's all ocd. Learned this the hard way lol
- Username
- Imaan7Imaan7
- Date posted
- 3y ago
It just feels like self discovery rather than hocd. Deep down Im terribly confused and these constant feelings that Im gay arent helping one bit. Ive talked inside my head too much of this and now Im finding it literally impossible that Im straight. I dont want to believe that this is Ocd, How can it be!!??? Ugh lol Im so tired, my brain wont let me rest. Sorry If my posts are weirdly worded english isnt my native tongue. I appreciate youre response.💛
- Username
- alexisrae1999alexisrae1999
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Imaan7 Its your ocd talking right now. You can learn to live with the uncertainty and through uncertainty you'll probably eventually gain certainy...if that makes sense. Of course you're going to have trouble feeling genuinely attracted to the sex you identify with being attracted to--because you're ONLY thinking about "what if I'm gay?" And you're comparing levels of attractiveness for each sex right? Its really hard to feel genuine attraction when you are trying to force it instead of letting it coming naturally. Do yourself a favor and please show some compassion, understanding, and patience with yourself okay? Start focusing on other things not related to your so-ocd and take the pressure off of it for now. You don't need an answer right now, no one is expecting you to come down to any conclusions. Please take care of yourself :) And your english is perfect ❤❤
- Username
- BlueberryPieBlueberryPie
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Maybe you don't really have to accept it. Maybe you just need to live with it and do whatever you feel like you need to do. You say that you're positive that you're gay, but you also feel bad by saying it. How you feel might be different tomorrow, so take some time to figure it out maybe whenever you're a little bit less anxious. It's okay if you don't figure it out in the next hour, tonight, or even in the next year. It'll be okay!
- Username
- Mixed Chick-Mental HealthMixed Chick-...
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Hmm. This is tough. Maybe this will help… You said you feel miserable when you think you can’t or won’t be able to like girls anymore…but why do you think that you being gay means you have to stop liking girls? You also said that you feel like you have no identity, but the fact that you’re saying you’re gay and that it means you can’t like girls, is you identifying with a role that society has given a “gay” man, not an identity you make for yourself… You can decide for yourself how you want to be “gay,” can’t you? There’s no one forcing you to be gay and only like men. It’s an abstract thought, I guess, because we are taught to label and classify everything in our lives…everything has its set “definition” and behaves a certain way, yes…but only within constructed societal reality. In actuality, we set our own parameters. This is why, when someone asks me what my sexual orientation is, rather than gay, straight, bi, queer, I have recently begun saying “I just like what I like.” That mantra, to me, means, if I find someone, and I like them, and they like me back, we’ll date, I guess. It may work out, it may not, but it doesn’t have to be an end-all-be-all type of thing… this is how I look at it, and I really hope that helped you a bit. Also, just to clarify, I wasn’t telling you how to think or identify, just sharing my thoughts on the matter in relation to my own thoughts and experiences! Best- ✨🤗❤️🩹
Related posts
- Username
- idont241
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I can’t anymore. I really can’t. The what if I am attracted to them. The “why does it have to be a man with a woman” (which by the way- I only now get when women are talking in love songs. And whenever I look at any couple). I am just tired. Tired of feelings like crap. I just want to go to what I was before, but was I like this before? Have I always been like this? I am tired. My anxiety levels are ALWAYS the worse at the morning. I am starting to obsess whether I like this friend now! And it doesn’t matter how much I try to accept it, it doesn’t go away. Like there is still something wrong. I hate this. I hate this so fucking much. At this point. How can I still be straight? I literally get triggered by everything. And how can I just not be gay? I have no reason to think that but it feels so real. It’s like I have no sexuality at all. And this is all that I can think about every single hour of my day. I am even thinking about this in dreams! I even wonder that the fact I am so upset right now is because I am scared of telling people and that they won’t accept me. When I don’t even know who I am myself. I am so done. What even is this? Have I always been like this? I am getting flashbacks and it’s telling me I have.
- Username
- Clementine
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Please someone help me. I feel like I’m in denial. I feel like I don’t have ocd. It’s too real. The intrusive thoughts aren’t as frequent, I don’t have anxiety or do compulsions. I’m not even against the thoughts anymore. I can’t explain how real it feels. It can’t be ocd and the thing is I just don’t want to like girls. That’s it. I just don’t want to. But that sounds like I’m resisting my sexuality and it feels like this too. I’m sorry to everyone on this app but I don’t think I’m like u anymore. If things like internalised homophobia and comphet didn’t exist then I’d know I was straight but they do so now I think I’m just that. I don’t want to marry a girl or have sex with one or anything. I want to be straight and just fucking live my life. I’ve never had a boyfriend and I haven’t had a crush on a boy for years even though my ‘ocd’ started in the summer. I’ve had loads of male celebrity crushes that I’ve felt like I’ve loved and I don’t understand how those could’ve been fake but they must have been. Compulsions don’t comfort me I just watch tv to distract myself and that’s it. I can’t do this shit anymore. I don’t want to like girls but I have to be either bi or lesbian. Please I just want to be straight I don’t get it.
- Username
- J_s_s
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y ago
If anyones reading this please help
My mind keeps jumping to conclusions that I’m in denial and i have to come out , crazy how a thought went from “what if I’m gay” to “what if I’ve always been” to “you’re bi” to “you’re gsy” to full on statements and conclusions, like coming out and being in denial , as homophobic as this sounds everytime i see something gay i get an ick im not disgusted, very slightly, i was never like this, now I’m contemplating if i ever even liked women when i know i have before. I have nothing against gay people but i just don’t wanna be gay , saying that makes me feel uneasy which makes me more confused. Idk what I’ve become at this point .Now I’m doubting every life decision I’ve taken and gosh i wish me and my ex lasted, i was happy, even when we fought i remember telling myself we’re gonna get through this we’ll be fine, here i am doubting everything, at the same time wishing me and her lasted, regretting how i treated her, then the ocd part uses the fact that i went soft a few times with her and lost all interest in women after the break up against me, and then its basically convincing me to say that i am gay, none of these adds up . My brain keeps showing me images of being with men and happy about it and i don’t want that, i don’t think i ever did, then it’s like oh movies and tv shows have influenced you to think you should be with women , and then I’m here like if that was the case I’d feel uncomfortable and feel out of place , I’ve never felt that, i felt good with women and all as long as she was clean didn’t smell ofc but yeah now I’m so fucking lost.
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