TW: pocd, harm ocd hi everyone! i’m 18 and i’ve been having bad intrusive thoughts since I was 14. It started when I watched an horror film and the images won’t go away, then I experienced violent intrusive thoughts and I began to feel like a bad person. Luckily, I don’t think about that anymore, but lately i’ve been obsessing about P OCD, since the first quarantine. Now that thoughts about kids seem less strong, I started liking a girl a year older than me. I broke up with my previous girlfriend in order to get in a new relationship with her. Now, with the girl I had before I also experienced bad thoughts like “What if I like her because she’s shorter than me? What if she looks like a little girl?” and stuff like that. All the beautiful moments I had with her, were when I wasn’t thinking about anything, when I was thinking about kissing a NORMAL girl of my age. Now i have a similar problem. When I started liking the new girl, I forgot all my negative thoughts, I have lots of good memories with her. But then, my brain started as always “What if her face looks childish?” and it was so bad for me to think about it. I would look at her photos in order to confirm the fact that she looked like every other girl. But now I’m really scared, because I started thinking about stuff like “What if I like her because she looks like my MOM?” and I’m terrified. I can’t even look at my mom without associating her to the girl, and every time it gets worse. I know I like her because of many other things, not because she “looks” like my mom. I would compare their photos as a compulsion, until I’m sure that they not look alike. I feel relieved for some minutes, but then it starts again. I’m already seeing a therapist, and she says that I don’t have to believe to this thoughts. I don’t know what to do anymore, I’m constantly worrying about being some sort of a pervert, or ill person, I can’t do this anymore. Sometimes, I also harm myself to stop these thoughts, unsuccessfully of course.

I got diagnosed with OCD (variant POCD) about 3/4 yeats ago. Lately I've been really confused and makes me uncomfortable this ideas that I've had dreams in my sleep where I have romantic/sexual interactions with my older sibling— I know it's disgusting, and I don't know what to do. Recently I got a boyfriend after years of being without a partner, and he makes me so happy along my friends, but sometimes at random points of the day I have this episodes with minors or my sibling, and the ones with him start to go heavier when I'm at home or alone. The first thing that comes to mind for me to do is always how much I don't wanna live, harm myself or what is my purpose at this point (22fem) having this problems. I feel weirded out when I pass them over, and suddendly think about not giving them the atention because how important they are in a negativa way. I'm just anxious writing this, I need help. Is someone living the same? How do you work on it? I will always be like this from now? — thanks in avance and sorry for mistakes, english isn't my first language

so I’ve been seeking therapy for my OCD for a few years. The theme that I’ve been dealing with most recently is the fear of becoming a pedophile, which then has led to intrusive images of me doing things to kids.Which now is just causing me so much distress and 24/7 constant thought cycle. I am starting to not be able to tell the difference between thoughts that are wanted/ unwanted- the line has become some blurry and these things are starting to feel like someothing i want to do. My brain keeps telling me to just test these thoughts and the “maybe”or”i don’t know” isn’t working. This has become such a barrier because the second layer is that I’m afraid that if I just let the thoughts be there it’ll make me be OK with doing those things and the fear is what’s keeping me from actually doing something inappropriate. It’s also transitioned into intrusive thoughts and images of me doing something very disgusting to my dog and that when I’m cuddling with him I get the thoughts to just do it or try it to see if i am actually a p*do. it’s almost like the compulsion would be to do the inappropriate thing, even though I know it’s wrong just to see how it would make me feel. I feel like i can’t control these urges even though i’ve never acted on it. At any point i could just do it. I’ve never had these thoughts before up until about a year and a half ago when my friend‘s boyfriend got arrested for soliciting a minor then all these thoughts came to life.Has anyone experienced something like this and have any advice?

Im 16 years old and female and up until very late last year and this year I’ve been having thought almost every day that I’m a pedophile or that I’m sexually attracted to or want a romantic relationship with child. I don’t know how to explain it and I don’t want judgment because I’m genuinely so scared and disgusted, but anytime I’m around children I feel my chest tighten, my body feels warm and it feels like I don’t know how to breathe. I sometimes get a groomer response but even then I don’t know if it’s a ground response or not. Also I tend to stare at children when I’m anywhere near them, I feel like if I don’t I’m a weirdo and if I don’t look at them it means I’m attracted to them which I guess could be POCD but I feel like I stare at them inappropriately. Not too long ago maybe three weeks ago I went to the park with my family and there were two girls in their swim suits and I was looking at their backsides and I felt really anxious and scared like I usually do but I felt so upset by looking at them that way and now I’m scared to go to pools or splash pads because every time I do I feel like I stare at them gross and I just feel so disgusted with myself. When I tell myself not to look I end up looking and then I stare. I feel better when I’m not around them but even then, I look back at what I saw earlier that day and I feel anxious again and then I look up what’s been happening and then I feel more worried it’s not OCD. My friends who have OCD say I might have it but I can’t get a therapist, I can’t talk to anyone I’m scared I’ll be put in jail and that I’m not a good person. I’ve never head thoughts like this until this year and near the end of last year and they come now? I don’t know what to do.