i just wish i could enjoy a s*xual relationship with my boyfriend like a normal person…he deserves so much better.

everytime i go out with my bf, he annoys me so much, but i get easily annoyed, he is just being himself and im so so si irritated by him, and i act out and i am rude to him, today i have upset him and he stopped talking to me. i font know what is wrong with me, i dont lnow if i like him, if i still have feelings, if i only want the ideea of the relationship, what if im only attached to him. i dont know anything, i have so many doubts. im so drained, i diny even know if i care that i upset him. i dont know. what if i dont care???

I'm 30 years old and in my first official relationship. We've been talking for three months and dating for two. I like this man very much. He's kind-hearted, thoughtful, incredibly smart, and very sweet to me. On our most recent date, we had a heart-to-heart about intentions. We've only slept together once. Circumstances haven't been ideal for both of us, but I was worried there was something wrong with me (story of my life). He assured me that there isn't anything wrong with me and that he is attracted to me, there's just been a lot going on that's gotten in the way of being that intimate. He also told me he wants me to know that this is more than sex. I was very relieved to hear this, and very happy to know that he wants a deeper relationship, as I want this, as well. I just keep worrying that he thinks all I want is sex, which is not true. I told him as much, but the OCD part of my brain just can't let it go and can't accept that things are good, which they are. We show affection in other ways, like holding hands, hugging, kissing, cuddling at the movies. I just keep feeling like I've ruined things. Can anyone give me any advice?

I’m ruining my relationship, and idk if it’s OCD or if I’m just an awful person. I’m tired of constantly fighting with my boyfriend. but I have no one to blame but myself. I can’t stop picking apart everything they say, I can’t stop being so negative, I can’t stop overthinking and obsessing, I can’t stop feeling like they’re lying or being inconsistent. I constantly ask too many questions to the point where I feel he thinks I’m stupid. I’m starting to feel stupid myself. It seems like I can’t understand basic conversations with my boyfriend anymore unless they’re super black and white. He deserves better. I don’t deserve love. I feel like I’m destroying the one thing that makes me happy. I don’t feel happy with him anymore because we’re constantly fighting. And it’s all my fault. I think I’m just an awful, crazy person