Nour04
- Date posted
- 3y
Nour04Nour04
- Date posted
- 3y
it's like i can't even be bothered with rumination anymore i am too tired and too lazy for that
cheyrascheyras
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Sounds to me like you’re depressed from burnout caused by OCD.
Nour04Nour04
- Date posted
- 3y
@cheyras yeah makes sense but like it hasn't been bad for a while now. like everytime i get a thought i be like "i have 0 energy to deal with this rn" and i just don't ??? like how is this possible with ocd??? like i can ignore them but it makes me feel more in denial yet still barely any panic. and some feelings are still there and it makes me feel like they're my own
cheyrascheyras
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Nour04 One thing you have to realize with OCD is that EVERYTHING is possible. OCD is very crafty. And at that you’ve got to stop trying to be certain about your OCD themes. There is no amount of proof that you’re not gay that will be enough for your OCD. The more proof you throw at it you are just feeding thr beast. Just adopt a mindset of “maybe I’m gay maybe I’m not, idk. No way to know 100%.” And then continue with your day. Analyzing it will not bring you clarity nor peace. So stop that.
Nour04Nour04
- Date posted
- 3y
@cheyras i haven't ruminated in so long i am actually starting to believe i don't have ocd and am just in denial. like for example there's a lot of proof i had a crush on an ex teammate, yet i am jist ignoring that. isn't that denial???? or is it dealing with ocd (if i even have it)???
cheyrascheyras
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Nour04 You are ruminating though. This comment I’m replying to is literally rumination in the form of a comment! Rumination can take many forms. Anything that you do mentally in an effort to quell discomfort, solve a problem, or avoid feeling negative emotions is rumination.
Nour04Nour04
- Date posted
- 3y
@cheyras ow wow thanks for this insight!!
cheyrascheyras
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Nour04 Of course! I understand rumination very well because I’ve been doing it since I was 6, and am now 33. Best of luck to you in your recovery. First step is to stop ruminating! Check out this guy’s material - he helped me realize that so much of my mental processes were actually rumination and that I could stop doing it. https://drmichaeljgreenberg.com/articles/
Nour04Nour04
- Date posted
- 3y
@cheyras thank you so much!
Nour04Nour04
- Date posted
- 3y
i feel like a lot of people on here actually think i am gay and using ocd as an excuse
lola2214lola2214
- Date posted
- 3y
A lot of people on here are seeing your posts and seeing how you’re not trusting the ERP process and constantly doing compulsions and rituals knowing there’s literally nothing we can say because you have to realize within yourself. The motivation has to come from YOU, to be like okay I am deleting this app. I am sitting with the discomfort and uncertainty and I’m going to get better. You’re not there yet.
Nour04Nour04
- Date posted
- 3y
@lola2214 dude but i barely ruminate anymore. thoughts barely cause me anxiety, if they're even present at all. i don't feel like this is OCD. i haven't been bad for like a month or so
lola2214lola2214
- Date posted
- 3y
@Nour04 You post A LOT. I think you’re ruminating, checking, seeking reassurance more than you even think
Nour04Nour04
- Date posted
- 3y
@lola2214 but not that much? like really i barely ever feel anxious. and when i want to check i reslly just go "fuck off i have no energy for this rn" and i just don't?
OCDHacksOCDHacks
- Date posted
- 3y
this journal may help you search on amazon : ocd therapeutic journal
lola2214lola2214
- Date posted
- 3y
Like I see your name nour04 like 20x more than I see everyone else. Not to be mean but it just seems like you’re not even in the head space yet where you’re like okay, I get what I have to do. And trust me I get it, I’ve been there. Truly think deleting this app would be a huge move forward for you.
Nour04Nour04
- Date posted
- 3y
i totally get it, it's just that it's been feeling way less wild as in i can simply ignore the thoughts and it makes me feel like i don't have ocd
lola2214lola2214
- Date posted
- 3y
@Nour04 I get it. It means you’re making progress. I think instead of seeking reassurance on that or posting about it, you could channel that’s energy into something like I’m going to look at ONE video or post about back door spikes or ocd and then I’m going to put my phone away and do something else. Reduce it to like once every 2 days, once every 4, once a week. You have to acknowledge the thoughts, welcome them and go about your day. It’s UNCOMFORTABLE, I get it but I’m telling you incessantly posting is not going to help anything
Nour04Nour04
- Date posted
- 3y
@lola2214 i really get it. it's been very mild to the point where i shrug them off. no anxiety. but i still get some feelings of me liking it but even that doesn't spook me much. i have been way too tired and distracted to care lol
lola2214lola2214
- Date posted
- 3y
@Nour04 But if that were true, you wouldn’t post about it and you wouldn’t compulsively be on this app. Big step=delete. Move on. Ocd mindful on YouTube, chrissiehodges on YouTube. Not obsessively, just one a day. Acknowledge. Move on.
Related posts
geodrimilis
- Date posted
- 15w
Hocd is literally a clown in my head.
Like I can’t think straight. This is making me doubt everything I’ve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I don’t. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go “oh so you like it you must be gay” or the other one where I’m not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that I’ve had my whole life and my mind goes “see now you’re not into them you’re gay” like it’s so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or “a thing of the past”. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and it’s so weird. Today I’ve spent my whole day thinking about it like I’ve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just won’t let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
mattis!
- Date posted
- 12w
Feels so real
I don’t know if it’s SOOCD. I no longer feel anxious in the moment when I think about women, and it’s like my imagination wants me to think about it and get aroused. I don’t want to be gay, but maybe I am after all. In my life I haven’t been so sexually driven before (when I was living with a man, or when being single) but now all I can think about is having sex with a woman. I don’t want to, but somehow my body does and it feels like my mind have changed to accept it to.. feel so sad This all started around 4 weeks ago..
anonymous00981
- Date posted
- 8w
I feel like this is it
I had a bad rumination spiral yesterday and went to bed hoping I’d start over in the morning. I was wrong. I had dreams about liking women and not being attracted to men anymore and my entire body has been in a state of anxiety since. I genuinely feel like I’m gay and just need to accept it. I have this urge to accept it. Maybe if I do I’ll get some sort of relief because this feeling is awful. I feel like my brain is telling me that I’ll get relief if I just accept it and come out. The intrusive thoughts don’t even seem to be around sexual images anymore, just to come out.
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