bellag
- Date posted
- 4y
whatadooowhatadooo
- Date posted
- 4y
Listen you sound like you're very young. You will grow, mature, and change so much in the years to come. Your mental health will stabilize. There will be many chances to treat people right. You are not an adult, forgive yourself. I was the same way as a teen and its just not worth it. Focus on school and happy love and supportive friendships, if this relationship is draining you and him so much, leave it and focus on getting better.
bellagbellag
- Date posted
- 4y
check my last post if you can, it sort of has to do with this. i’m 15, and we’re long distance. my mental health seems terrible for my age, but i’m on medicine now. thank you for your advice and your personal experience! this really does help. my ocd is just attacking me really bad right now. it’s been bad for the last few months/weeks. thank you again for taking the time to reply <3
bellagbellag
- Date posted
- 4y
actually, it will be pretty hard to find the post i’m talking about, but i can sum it up
whatadooowhatadooo
- Date posted
- 4y
How did u supposedly hurt him??
bellagbellag
- Date posted
- 4y
mentally, i hurt him.
whatadooowhatadooo
- Date posted
- 4y
@bellag How tho
bellagbellag
- Date posted
- 4y
@whatadooo basically, i treated other guys how i was supposed to treat him, then i treated him like crap. i got defensive with him when he’d ask for reassurance and i’d just tell him it was an insecurity.
whatadooowhatadooo
- Date posted
- 4y
@bellag Listen, you're supposed to make in person connections at this age, so it's pretty realistic that you 'cheated' or what not on someone who was long distance. Not right, but normal for this age. However, infidelity is cause for breakup and can't really be fixed. I'm sure you've apologized for the defensiveness or calling him insecure. You didn't ruin him. You're not a monster for this. You made a mistake and now you're holding yourself accountable and that's all we can really ask for in life. You're gona be fine.
bellagbellag
- Date posted
- 4y
@whatadooo i mean, i dont know if i really cheated, because we were on the phone 24/7. so he was seeing me be nice to these people over my xbox, then later i’d be rude to him. i feel awful. i just don’t know anymore. i need to get my life together. but thank you for that. i am constantly ruminating on my mistakes from the past. they are terrible and they hurt and tbh they aren’t really even huge huge mistakes, LIKE cheating, etc. but i still beat myself up for it because of the severity of it. my ocd took it as a way to attack me for sure. i have apologized multiple times but it will never satisfy it.
whatadooowhatadooo
- Date posted
- 4y
@bellag No one should have access to your inbox besides you, doll. i wish you the best of luck and I promise this moment is fleeting and these mistakes are behind you and not part of you any longer. Be well.
whatadooowhatadooo
- Date posted
- 4y
Like what did you say or do that's driving you to this conclusion?
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alyssa_h
- Date posted
- 25w
i can’t do this much longer
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Buddyfriend
- Date posted
- 24w
I’m scared of being an abusive partner.
Has anyone else experienced something like this? I’m graduating from college soon and i have been so stressed about finding a job, signing a lease for an apartment, college ending, I have an ungodly amount of assignments to do, I have a tumultuous relationship with my mother that has recently blown up again, and so much more. I am just so overwhelmed, I snapped at my boyfriend last night. I immediately apologized but i still feel awful. One of my biggest fears is being an abusive partner and i feel like this confirms that I am one. My best friend was also there and he saw me snap at my boyfriend and I’m scared he thinks I’m awful too. He saw me apologize so maybe that makes him think differently, but i can’t know for sure. The logical side of me tells me it’s not that deep, i apologized, and it’s time to move on. But i feel like i need to apologize to my best friend too to make sure he doesn’t think im terrible, but i know thats reassurance seeking. The ocd in me is punishing myself and refusing to move on.
Anonymous_co...
- Date posted
- 13w
I’m so tired
I’m ruining my relationship, and idk if it’s OCD or if I’m just an awful person. I’m tired of constantly fighting with my boyfriend. but I have no one to blame but myself. I can’t stop picking apart everything they say, I can’t stop being so negative, I can’t stop overthinking and obsessing, I can’t stop feeling like they’re lying or being inconsistent. I constantly ask too many questions to the point where I feel he thinks I’m stupid. I’m starting to feel stupid myself. It seems like I can’t understand basic conversations with my boyfriend anymore unless they’re super black and white. He deserves better. I don’t deserve love. I feel like I’m destroying the one thing that makes me happy. I don’t feel happy with him anymore because we’re constantly fighting. And it’s all my fault. I think I’m just an awful, crazy person
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