Having SO-OCD and being queer is like being handed a double edged sword. I just cannot win.

I can imagine that’s all the more confusing. At least as a straight person you can refer back to your baseline where you were in a pretty generic box. I assume that being queer makes things so much more confusing. That doesn’t mean there isn’t hope though, the contents of your theme is (at its core) irelevant, and ERP will work in the same manner as it would for a straight person with this theme. You can win, you just need to learn the methods of ERP (preferably but not exclusively) with a therapist.