I’m getting married next week to the love of my life. I’ve been dealing with sexual orientation OCD for about 3 years now. Before that I had forms of relationship OCD. Been with my, now fiancé, for 12 years. Sometimes my relationship OCD gave me so much anxiety that I would flee, broke up with her multiple times all to feel empty and longing for her love again. Once I “solved” that fear it switched to sexual orientation OCD. This has been tough. I’m scared it will ruin my wedding week. I’m scared I’m gonna get so Much anxiety that I’ll leave her standing on the altar. But I don’t want that. I genuinely want to be with her for the rest of my life. I know there is nothing anyone can do to relieve my anxiety , I need to live with it and the uncertainty that comes with it. But I’m writing this today to just admit that it’s so hard. If anyone is dealing with any type of OCD I feel your pain … I know it may be with me for life. But that doesn’t make it any easier. Peace and love to everyone.

Day513

262d ago

It is hard to deal with. I completely understand! I am dealing with the same thing. Please enjoy your weeding! Look forward to your wonderful life with your new wife!

Sasha

262d ago

I can tell you this. I had the same theme and I woke up in cold sweats in the middle of the night. I had trouble enjoying my relationships. And then I finally accepted the possibility. Just accepted the ridiculous thought. And okay so what? And whenever the terrible feeling came up I just accepted it and realized even if it was the truth so what. And then it just lost all power over me. I have new themes of ocd sure, but orientation ocd has no power anymore.

Day513

262d ago

I am having a relapse I was in the same situation. I didn’t pay it any mind now it’s coming back.