it just feels so real and i don't even panic anymore. it's like i don't care. i do! i feel like i have accepted myself as bi :( i don't want that. and please refrain from commenting triggering stuff. it's just that i don't panic at the thoughts anymore nor do i feel anxious, but i still feel gay in denial and even that doesn't spook me much, i just ignore it. but isn't ignoring a sign of denial??? i just feel like i am but can't even bother with panicking or worrying about it. there's a lot of "proof" in my past and i keep on seeing some stuff that should be triggering but i am able to simply ignore it and stop myself from ruminating over it. i don't think i ever had ocd :( i just feel like i used it as a coverup for my denial